your new significant other
when can you introduce them on social media?
I recently spoke to a friend who was somewhat on edge because her new love interest doesn’t have Facebook, no Twitter account and can’t be found on Instagram. Nada. So no snooping around, nothing to keep an eye out for, no old vacation pics to look at, absolutely nothing. They met each other at a bar and she nearly cancelled on their first date because it was impossible for her to find anything online about the guy and so her alarm bells hit their ‘potential serial killer’ mark. But she gave in and decided to go on the date anyway, loved it, and they have been inseparable ever since.
So now I know what you’re thinking, what’s the problem? Well, she misses his online presence. They’ll never be able to upload photos together, he misses out on all her cool Insta updates, has absolutely no idea how beautiful she looks on her Facebook profile picture and all her witty Twitter messages are non existent in his world. Alright, so it’s sorta a luxury problem, pompous if you may, but it’s something she can’t help but find a little frustrating. And I get it in a sense, cause in her case, her online life is important. She works online so there are a ton of things from her regular life which overlap with her digital one and vice versa. The same goes for me too: it’s my job to write for a website, Instagram is inextricably linked to it and Facebook is important for Amayzine’s online traffic. Long story short, she feels as though her new love interest doesn’t thoroughly understand her life. Can’t understand it and doesn’t want to.
Long story short, she feels as though her new love interest doesn’t thoroughly understand her life.
I once dated a guy who was on Facebook but used it in the most unnerving way. He refused to add me as a friend until we were officially a couple so those two months prior, nihil. It drove me mad and it was so confusing. What did he have to hide? Was he ashamed of me? That’s the kind of shit that starts going through your head. As soon as I was accepted into his Facebook holy grail, his page was absolutely boring, he hadn’t posted an update in over three years and his profile pictures were a collection of old grainy pics. His list of friends was hidden, which I obviously found highly suspicious. He never ever liked any of my pictures but he did like those of others. He never ever commented on anything I posted but he did with others. It might sound like a bunch of girlish psycho babble, but it made me very insecure to be treated like a digital outcast.
And then onto a polar opposite man who took a selfie of us during our very first date to “send to his roommate” but made its way onto his Instagram. Without me knowing it. The following day my phone was swamped with messages saying: “OMG are you dating so and so?” News always travels fast but this tempo was one I was unfamiliar with, although I have to say that his approach was at bit better than the guy before.
And then onto a polar opposite man who took a selfie of us during our very first date to “send to his roommate.””
In short, love and social media is frustrating whichever way you turn it. I told my friend about these two guys and that she should be happy that she’s found a man who’s clueless when it comes to the internet. That way you can tell each other what you’re thinking and feeling without having to decipher complex messages. And that, that lifted a ton of weight of her shoulders.