Don’t ever let me roam through IKEA. Don’t. First of all, I’ll eat about three hot dogs and I don’t want to. Secondly, I’ll start obsessing about how on Earth the food in IKEA can be so goddamn cheap. Seriously. How. The. Heck. Is. That. Possible.
Then I realized that that is how IKEA CEO’s make ends meet each month, which brings me straight to my third point: no matter what, I’m going to be spending a ridiculous amount of money. I’ll start grabbing pots, pans, rugs and whatsoever like a full blown lunatic. Then I end my shopping spree with a stop at the sale corner and convince myself I actually need that half-broken mirror. AND it’s half off. So technically, it’s a win-win situation.
With the cash register in sight I start adding up all the prices, have a slight heart attack and very calmly start my Walk of Shame back through the aisles with the hideous, bright yellow, half-torn IKEA bag in hand. Seventy-five percent of the stuff ends right back where I grabbed it from. So for everyone’s best interest. Do not let me go to IKEA.
Why we secretly all love wandering through ikea
(and no, we don’t own any shares of the company…)
1. Because we love the nostalgic feeling we get when we walk past the play area for kids and we see kids playing around in the ball pit (even though I was that shitty kid when I was little who wanted to leave after 5 minutes. Some of my mother’s fondest memories…).
2. Because there are always treasures hidden in the sale corner that are still in impeccable shape. Just forget about what you read before about the broken mirror.
3. For the Swedish meat balls with cranberry sauce and the coffee refills (okay fine, an the hot dogs too).
4. Because it is so big you can spend half of your day there.
5. Oh, and the €1,- breakfast. Duh.
Written by Kiki Düren