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15 KINDS OF PORN

I used to call the series Earth flight and Life nature porn in which the viewer experiences the highlight (seven thousand swarming seagulls and lions eating four carcasses, the nature equivalent to double penetrations and oral activities) gradually. The story in between (how did they meet, was that man on the left not an old student she went to school with?) doesn’t matter in casu porn. Not at the sexual variant, neither at the animal variant.

The Huffington Postannounced today that everything visually appealing’ resembles porn. They made their own top 25, which just begged for an amayzine.com variant. Just a quick recap of the definition of porn: porn is short for pornography, a series of images which has the purpose of stimulating the viewer. No time for nuances or multi interpretational matters. Just straightforward, rock hard, serve it like it is porn.

Here goes.

  1. Perfume porn, I mean… it doesn’t get more exciting than that.
  2. Shoe porn Gucci Strong, feminine and sexy as hell
  3. Liquor porn Blanc de Blancs Riunart, drink at times of great sorrow or pleasure.
  4. Holiday porn the Maledives, I don’t care they haven’t got a museum. Really don’t care.
  5. Bag porn Céline keeps you awake at night
  6. Icons porn Diana Vreeland, talking about larger than life
  7. Over-the-top porn, ironed bank notes to polished shoes, ALT is always over-the-top.
  8. Wannabe best friends porn Carrie, always Carrie. If I were a man, I’d marry her.
  9. Mini convertible Fill with friends and go
  10. Perfect bronze porn Rash is a word you don’t know.
  11. House porn, Fred van Leer would say: get it?
  12. Rooftop porn idem. Get it?
  13. Hair porn, where to sign up?
  14. Watch porn (rose Rolex), Old money would be appalled. Who cares?
  15. Quote porn, I’m way too handsome for public transportation. Which he meant.