Avoiding Christmas obligations

In 5 steps

In August, Gwyneth Paltrow asked Jennifer Lawrence if she and Chris Martin (That’s Gwyneth’s ex) would like to spend Christmas in the house where Gwynnie and Chris used to play mommy and daddy. A typical ‘awkward’ moment. Now you probably will not be faced with anything quite that bad, but now that we’re half way through November, you’ll be hearing; “What are you doing for Christmas?” every now and then.

It may be that you have the best mother-in-law in the world and can’t wait for the breakfast brunch to drinks to dinner hop, but most people I know would love to dive into a soft bed on 24 December, with some wine, chocolate and a whole stack of  TV series’ on your bed side table, and the cutest man in the world next to you.

There is good news. You can avoid those obligations. But how is the question. I’ll help you, cause I have experience.

Be honest

Lying is not good, not chic, always comes out and most of all is bad for your karma. Don’t say that you’re going to Paris for the weekend when you’re actually just going out with friends.

strike On time

You need to be quick to be before most of the Christmas inflicted mother-in-laws, aunties, neighbours or whoever. If someone invites you, it’s already too late. You need to do it now (so this evening), call and ask if anyone has thought about Christmas plans yet. Probably not and those Christmas inflicted mother-in-laws/aunties/neighbours/or whoever will ask worriedly: “Why?”

Now’s the time to strike. Tell them that you’ve been working incredibly hard during the last few months and are actually not looking forward to spending Christmas hopping from place to place. Buying gifts, making food. Tell them that you’ve always enjoyed it (I’m giving you permission to lie a little now), but that the biggest gift for you would be a Christmas free.

offer an alternative

Cancelling the whole thing is extremely cheerless, so you need to offer an alternative up. “That’s why I thought I could invite everyone to brunch the weekend before Christmas.” Say something like that. Or organise a boat trip with everyone. The Amsterdam canals are gorgeous all lit up.

If you all do something ‘adventurous’ together or organise an outing, the chance of difficult discussions getting dredged up is minimised.

I bet you the hostess will actually be pretty happy to be treated for once. My experience is that when you’re honest about not really being into Christmas, everybody seems to breathe out again and all look six kilos lighter.

Handle Christmas well

It can be shocking for some parents and parents-in-law, that you are choosing for a timeout, so it is very important to make sure you handle Christmas properly. Call them up immediately on the day to wish them a merry Christmas.

Send an extra digital card or send a WhatsApp of you in your Christmas bed or the table full of take away Chinese food. If people are kept close, they’ll understand it more. And if they don’t get you, at least they’ll know that it wasn’t meant personally and that you really just don’t feel like all the obligations.

LEave

The best tip actually. Book a trip to a far away place. Leave on the 23rd and come back around the 7th of January. No fuss.

The only problem with this one is that you’re not educating anyone, they’ll think it’s an exception and next year will be the same old Christmas song. So if you want change, you’ll have to deal with the trouble.

Maybe problematic now but oh you’ll thank me later.

How will I be celebrating Christmas? My parents are overseas (also a serious option; motivate others to take a trip), and I’ll be seeing my in-laws and nephews and nieces at the Christmas Circus at the Carré theatre a few days before. We’ll all be home for Christmas doing whatever we feel like and the nicest part is that we can actually all be honest about it. Amen.