Conversation Piece Fun & Famous

Destination Wedding guest

I ALSO WANT A 75,000 DOLLAR TREATMENT

I’m well aware that Kim has already been discussed today, but I can’t help but share my latest mission in life with you. To be one of the 200 guests at the family West’s wedding. Why? Because:

The invitations alone cost 600 euros a piece. Picture a box that has been designed by a couture designer with in it a photo book that captures the romance in two images. A silk invitation etched in gold with on top of it a buckle of natural pearls. And this invitation was of course hand delivered.

Kanye rented an entire fleet of private jets to make sure all the guests are flewn in to Paris comfortably.

Apparently, the Trianon Palace Hotel has been rented for our guests. I’ll just assume that I’ll be one of them. You know, the hotel right next to the Versailles where a suite costs a sloppy 4,000 euros. Yes, right there.

The goodiebag will be filled with a bottle of Bollinger champagne (worth €300), €120 worth of Crème de la Mer products, and for €150 of spa treatments in the hotel. Yes, I know the goodiebag is entirely bartered, but still. You don’t care as a guest how they managed to compile the goodiebag. It’s all about what’s in it.

The cake that cost a sloppy 12 million euros is going to be the most expensive wedding cake ever. Mimi So Jewellers and La Patisserie Artistique already brainstormed with Kanye about the cake that will be covered in diamonds. Okaayyy.

Kim is thinking about wearing three dresses. She already had a meeting with Sarah Burton from Alexander McQueen because a royal tint (Burton designed Kate Middelton’s wedding dress) Kim would also like to have. I get that. She’s royalty herself, don’t you know?

The spray tan. No, not me. But Kim. She’s already trying out spray tans that sprays real diamonds and fourteen carat gold on her soft body. If the day before she takes this shower, she’s really shine.

That’s why. I’m going to be there. I don’t know how, but it’s going to succeed. Kim, this is your FBFF (Future Best Friend Forever) speaking. Invite me.