We spend hours looking for and finding The Perfect Clothing item, after which we carefully hang it in our closets and wear it with pride all week. But if your clothing needs a wash, we dump it into our washing machines in between t-shirts and pants.

Bit strange, really. Personally, I so incredibly hate the entire process around washing, and seen the fact that I don’t have enough money to ask a cleaning lady to clean everything or to send everything to the dry-cleaners, it’s a continual conundrum I don’t really know how to resolve. Now, I’ve got quite a lot of clothing and so I can get away with not washing my clothing for a week or two, but still, I loathe it. I especially hate hanging clothing. So much, even, that *confession* I sometimes let the clothing lie in the machine for such a long time I actually have to wash it again. Right, quite the hassle. I found a book with the best book titles in history and this book is filled with useful and smart tips to get better results. It won’t make washing any more fun, nor easier, but it’s at least a bit more clear. The book’s called — are you ready —  it’s called: My boyfriend barfed in my handbag… and other things you can’t ask Martha. I think this is so incredibly funny. Martha is Martha Stewart, supreme housewife and ultimate queen of cleaning and cooking, but also a respectable and refined person, and so, when your boyfriend has barfed in your bag, not quite the person to consult.

The writer of this book is Jolie Kerr, and she gained internet fame with her hilarious Ask a Clean Person on thehairpin.com. It sounds impossible, but it’s possible: writing a fun book about cleaning. She doesn’t only talk about washing your clothing, but also, in the first chapter: ‘The Kitchen: Clean it, or Just Set It On Fire and Be Done?’, about how to make your kitchen look clean as a whistle. The toilet will again be a shining paradise thanks to chapter 3: ‘Le Pissoir (Because These Things Sound Fancier in French)’. But this is a website about fashion, so I’ll repress my newfound cleaning excitement and I’ll get right to business.

For a start, you really need to use less detergent. A lotttt less. Manufacturers readily announce that you need to use a full cup, but hey, such a coincidence, the more detergent you use, the more bottles you’ll buy from them. So don’t, really unnecessary. Better even, The Wall Street Journal published an article in 2010 in which they warned mankind for the dangers of using too much detergent. “Excess detergent makes a high foamy tide inside the machine, lifting soil and lint above the water level so it isn’t rinsed away.” Which means that your clothing is actually swimming in a layer of filth. Not cool. According to Jolie Kerr, we should fill the cup about a third.

Then, sorting you probably already did colour-wise, but, actually, you should also do so material-wise. Jeans have a chafing effect on sensitive fabrics, so don’t wash these together. And did you know that jeans in combination with a jumper that has a soft lining of fleece results in your jeans forever having fleece fibres in the stretchy material? And the chance of your fabric pilling increases when you wash a bathing towel with cotton clothing. So don’t ever do this because pills are evil.

You probably already used too much detergent, but you can also lighten up on the fabric softener. Of course it smells great, and everything feels like that incredibly cute Robijn bear, though it’s really bad for your clothing. It leaves a thin layer on your clothing, and especially with bathing towels it’s very inefficient as they become harder to dry. Besides, the fabric softener can clog the machine, leaving behind very nasty stains on your clothing.

So what did we learn today? Use less detergent, sort your clothing on colour and material, and finally, use less fabric softener. It’s better for your clothing and so also better for your wallet, sounds like a win-win.