How to make the French like us
7 steps
Once in a while, a piece of research drops into my mailbox that is not terribly useful or world changing, but extremely funny to read nonetheless. Frankrijk.nl asked their Parisian HQ what they thought of Dutch people. Turns out they think we’re very friendly. Probably right because we find most French people incredibly unfriendly. Especially those living in Paris. It’s tricky to get a smile from anyone there. Another thing they think about us is that we have no culinary traditions. Bread-boxes, mugs of buttermilk, things that the French totally do not understand. Actually neither do I.
Frankrijk.nl asked their Parisian HQ what they thought of Dutch people. Turns out they think we’re very friendly.
Another funny point, is that the French think we often look like we just stepped out of the shower. That is probably true, but that aside. The French often look very messy. Let’s call it a state of undone done. I think that Dutch men especially can look very well groomed. I like it, they think it’s unusual. To keep it in context, the French go on to say that they find Dutch men quite handsome but then they also say, that they have no idea how to flirt. Okay, they have a point. And on to the Dutch woman in the eyes of the French. Pretty but not elegant. Annnd thanks.
I think that Dutch men especially can look very well groomed. I like it, they think it’s unusual.
I’m not surprised that they find us stingy. They have that image of tow-bar Dutch coming on holiday with pots of peanut butter, potatoes and tins of apple sauce in their bags. But we’re generous at the same time. Offering to buy rounds, giving a tip. I’ve spent considerable time with French people. My colleagues at Marie Claire France and the darling editor-in-chief and my girlfriend Agnès Michot, so I am now going to serve up a soufflé of how to behave in a manner that the French will appreciate.
Hierarchy
The French find us all too casual. You, them, all equal. There is a much stronger sense of hierarchy in France. In age and class but especially on the work floor. You should always address them formally, and if they prefer not to be addressed this way, they’ll let you know. I used to address my French directress by her first name, Laurence, but then with a formal greeting.
Keep it down
The French do not exactly find our language, um, very charming. My international directress even pointed out that some of our words were not even graphically beautiful. Because we use many letters with points on them like K, the T, the F and the W. Yes, yes, I hadn’t thought about it either. And we talk in a harsh way and too loudly. Especially a bad idea for the Thalys.
Don’t be too familiar
We’re pretty easy going. Which can be a little hard for the French to swallow. I had a Dutch boss (amazing person) who would happily finish my glass of wine during lunch if she felt like it. The look from my French directress. That look.
No make-up check in public
Brushing your hair in company is a sin. Don’t even think about touching up your lipstick during dinner. You won’t find many French women who wear lipstick anyway, but those who do will not be touching up in front of others. Mais non.
Drink with moderation
France is the land of wine and it is indeed normal to consume an alcoholic beverage with lunch. Although in practise it was bad, eh I mean, good. But the French only drink one glass, maybe two and then it’s enough. Going home in a state of drunkenness is a no-no. That’s is probably why they think we give great parties. They do.
Whisper
Especially when you answer the phone. The French whisper into the phone, we chatter. Don’t. Not chic and extremely irritating.
Never no gossip
So go ahead and gossip. We’re more straight forward and tell our managers about what we think in so many words. The French never, ever do that. But as soon as dear boss has turned on their medium heels and left the room, all hell breaks loose. In a whisper though. Oh la la, everything, everything, EVERYTHING get’s talked about.
