Irritating girlfriend?
Dump her!
It might seem a strange thing to say but I’m proud that I dumped a few girlfriends along the way. Of course it’s much nicer to say that you have kept all your girlfriends since nursery school, and formed intense deep rooted friendships that have developed into one where you never let each other down.
But roses die, ships depart and many friendships do not last. No-one said it would be fun. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn’t. Take a deep breath, hold tight and end it. I’ll tell you who to get rid of and how.
The Traitor
A girlfriend of mine had a girlfriend who had let a Huge Secret slip out to a guy she was in love with. You got it? Okay. Girlfriend a. had had sex for the very first time in her life with a boy who seemed decent but turned out to be a huge ass. She did not think he deserved the triumph of this news and so did not tell him that it was her first time ever. About six months later girlfriend b. let this news ‘slip’ out to the boy in question.
“You have shown your true self when the moment counted (not good obviously), so I cannot just superfluously sit and drinks cocktails with you anymore,” said girlfriend a and kicked girlfriend b out. Class action.
The glass-is-always-half-empty girlfriend
It starts with you thinking; “Oh shame, it’s never right in her life” and ends with: “Get your act together.” I had a girlfriend whose man did not want kids. He was always very clear about this but it suddenly became a problem for her. To fill the kiddie-hole, she retrained as nursery school teacher. Everyone happy. For a moment. She still wanted her own. Left her man, found a new love and fell pregnant right away. Totally happy you’d think. No. She hated her work because she was stuck between children all day. Pffffff…
How to handle?
Typical case of let her sort it out herself. These types often get totally hysterical when confronted directly. And she won’t understand anyway. Just be very busy, cancel appointments and disappear off her grid. A little cowardly maybe, but hey these are takers, not givers.
The Schemer
This type operates best in groups of girlfriends. She is tight with everyone and if you pay attention, gossips about all. She does this with care. Starts gossip with: “I hate to say it but…”, “I’m only telling you because I trust you…” or the classic “It’s not my place to judge, but…” and then follows up with something juicy. You feel like you’re the chosen one until you discover that she’s been talking about you to all the others.
How to handle?
Beat her around the ears. When she starts up with a story, say how funny you find it since you understand that she’s said exactly the same about you. Be warned, these troublesome ladies will deny all and instantaneously have some excuse. Don’t fall for it. Tell her that you are not happy talking about others in your group. Then do not meet 1 on 1 with her and you’ll see her melt away. On to the next victim. And don’t be so naive next time okay?
The I-want-everything-you-have friend
From your neighbourhood, to the wooden crate with juice holder on your bike, your Isabel Marant wedges (even though she actually hates them) to that second hole in your ear. Everything you do, she does. And sometimes that little bit better, more expensive, bigger so you feel unpleasant.
How to handle?
Pack her in and roll her up. Tell her how much you love those (disgusting) Birkenstocks from Isabel Marant from the spring/summer collection and add gently that you’re going to order them soon before they’re sold out. Bet she’ll log straight on to Netaporter? Then suggest that the white legging is coming back in and that she could totally get away with that look, and that new research has shown that you actually lose weight by eating cheese fondues. That’ll teach her.
