DO the BEYONCÉ

If yesterday was Blue Monday then today’s definitely Trouble Tuesday. Everyone worked so hard to fight their depressions yesterday, and only positive songs were played on the radio though today’s as grey as yesterday and I still haven’t got money, and now my scooter broke too.

On days like these there is only one person that is able to cheer me up, and that’s Beyoncé.Beyoncé, my hero. If I’m at some dull party with girlfriends we usually say to each other: ‘I feel like a Beyoncé.’ Beyoncé and I have got similar shop rhythms. I surfed to net-a-porter.com the other day, and there I saw them: Nikes, completely gold. Per-fect. I was lucky to have immediately put them in my basket and to have paid because they were sold out within an hour. And Beyoncé Knowles was just as quick as I’d been. She had the exact same shoes. Kind of cool.

When things don’t work out great, her documentary Life is but a dream usually helps me back on track. If only I were a Beyoncé, I sometimes think. Of course I won’t ever be a complete Beyoncé, but I’ve got to admit, Jay-Z doesn’t necessarily has to come with the package.

In order to get close anyway, I’m giving you a few tips.

How to be a Beyoncé

• Think of an alter ego for yourself. Beyoncé had Sasha Fierce and now Yoncé. When she climbs on that stage, she won’t perform as herself, but as her ‘friend’. This makes you a lot less nervous or shy. Are you shy, and you don’t know what to put on? Get inside your alter ego. B does it. And it works.
• Support charity. Knowles has donated the entire profit of her song I was here to World Humanitarian Day campaign. Now I understand you won’t be able to donate as much as her, but every bit helps. And by the way, it doesn’t have to be money. A smile, opening the door for someone else, or a few coins to a homeless person. Beyoncé wants us to be nicer to each other.
• Don’t be scared of your curves. Trust me, B surely does a diet every now and again, and she sweats and works out, naturally, but those buttocks? They’re there to stay. And those legs? They won’t ever go away.
• Dare to be natural. No makeup. You’ll still be incredibly beautiful. Okay, well, ask your hairdresser for ‘done’ hair to make a makeup less statement rather than the just out of bed look.
• Women on top and girlfriends are everything. Beyoncé says that even though she dearly loves Jay-Z, there’s nothing better than a good conversation with another woman that understands you precisely. Which is also the best recipe for fighting off these grey, mousy, dreary days. My girlfriends call collectively to hit some cocktails. Dammit, I almost forgot about Destination Detox… Herbal tea, anyone?