Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon, the end.

Ooooh guys, what sad news: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are separating after six years of marriage. And that’s a shame because they are two of my favourite crazies. The couple, with an age difference of 12 years, have never been particularly quiet or subtle about their feelings of love for each other. The decided to renew their vows in 2012 during a hysterically kitsch press moment in Paris. A year later they did it all over again and this time in Disneyland, and they hired the ENTIRE park for the occasion.

Yet now, a year later, the love is gone. The couple argue all the time, he has apparently been hopping from hotel room to hotel room for some time already and Mariah hardly ever posts any love-ussies anymore. There is not much said about how the children are doing (they had twins in 2010, named Monroe and Moroccan Scott), but between us I can’t even imagine how hard it must be living with the hysterical Mariah.

I have personally been a semi-fan of Mariah forever, thanks to the movie Glitter. Do you remember it? Glitter came out in 2001 with Mariah in the lead, and was immediately and unanimously declared “probably the worst film ever made” by critics. Ha ha! On IMDB, 17.000 voters decided that the masterpiece only deserved a lowly 2.1 score. The film only earned a shameful $5 million even though a production budget of $22 million was dropped on the making of the film.

Okay, well she probably doesn’t want to be reminded of that. Dear Mariah I am very sorry for you. Perhaps this is a good moment to make a film about how loud bragging in Disneyland ends up in nothing.