I’m going on a visit and I’m taking you with me. Right, everything has to happen quickly so often, you don’t get much further than taking out that bottle of wine from your personal stash or a sad bouquet you managed to buy somewhere on the way. And that’s a pity because it’s so great to give and get an original present. It’s really not all about the price, it’s about the thought and care you put into it. So, what to take with and what not to.

I never go on a visit (unless it concerns family, relations or friends I see daily) without bringing something for the host or hostess. It doesn’t matter whether it’s drinks, small dinner or an enormous party.

Tip 1: Be creative and make it personal 

Nothing wrong with that bouquet or that bottle, but I’d suggest doing something more original or personal. Try to empathise with the person you’re going to visit. If you know they like certain music then why not compile a CD with handpicked songs. Or give them an iTunes gift voucher and let them make their own playlist digitally. Are you invited to a housewarming, then try to find out the colour theme of the house and give a matching gift. Or make a booklet with great addresses near the house. The ultimate gift is a present they won’t be able to get someplace else, and which has been made for the hostess, and the hostess alone.

Tip 2: Gift drawer.

I collect gifts when I’m travelling and store these at home in my gift drawer. This way, I’ll always have a gift when I’m invited to something. During my last trip to Turkey, I found amazing spoons at the market and bought them thinking of one of my culinary girlfriends. Lovely vintage cloths, booklets with exotic recipes, fun notebooks, herbs from Morocco — you name it. And, I collect gift wrapping paper, colourful tapes, and ribbons because the presentation is half the fun.

What’s the etiquette?

According to etiquette, the gift receiver shouldn’t have to work hard to give the present a space in their homes. Best example of a ‘don’t’ is a bouquet of flowers. The receiver then has to look for a vase, the bouquet has to be undone of its cellophane (brrr), and the stems have to be cut. When that ordeal is over, they’ll also have to look for a space to put it. Too much of a hassle.

Tip: if you insist on giving flowers then make sure they’re already in a vase. You can also have someone deliver the flowers after the dinner or party.

Avoid: items that are too dependent of personal taste like bath products, perfumes or clothing. On a birthday you can of course give a fragrance if you know the receiver well, but it isn’t custom to give a perfume when one is invited to dinner.

Thank you

If you’ve been invited someplace, if you stayed the night somewhere or if someone did you a service then it’s easiest to email someone. However, it would be more kind to put in a little bit more effort and send someone a card. Which you won’t do on business stationary, but on a modest (preferably traditionally white) card of a nice kind of paper with a matching envelop. I buy my Thank You notes at Smythson in London, which is known for their luxurious stationery. But you might find something acceptable too at the better office supply stores.

How to write a good Thank You card

Start with the thanks. Then try to explain why you thought it was so delicious/fun/beautiful or special. You can end it by thanking that person again. Anyway, keep it short and remember that a thank you should never be about your life and well-being. It’s only meant to thank someone for the hospitality, gift, or whatever.

Thank you notes are an old tradition, which, sadly, is beginning to deteriorate thanks to the digital era. So dear Amayzine girls, come on! Let’s upkeep this tradition. I couldn’t thank you enough.