Chicken or Beef?

The 8 funniest questions a STEWARDESS has been asked

1. The toilet sign says vacant. What does that mean?

Vacant = free/empty people. So you can go.

2. Does Delta Airlines pay for your hotel? for all the staff?

What did you think? That one would go couch-surfing, the other would stay at her mother’s friend and the pilot at a suite in the Carlyle?

3. How can I move my seat forward?

We don’t want to be irritating, but the only thing that can move is the back of your chair. It moves two settings back, no more. Unless you’re in business class of course, but I am pretty sure that the kinds of people who ask these questions are not hanging out on the upper deck or up front.

4. What country is Hawaii in?

Ok, ok, not the most stupid question ever asked. I had to look it up myself. It was once a long long time ago an independent nation with its own king and postage stamp. Hawaii now belongs to the USA. It’s the 50th state.

5. Do you mean how much sex I’ve had from Monday to Friday?

There is a question on the immigration forms for customs in the USA that says ‘sex M-F’, meaning are you male (M for Male) or female (F for female). But if you really want to share your sexual habits, April won’t be offended.

6. Which pot is for coffee, which pot is for tea?

What difference does it make? I’m pouring it for you. Just tell me what you want.

7. What river are we flying over?

April’s standard answer: The Mississippi, makes no difference what state she’s flying over at that moment.

8. Where can you see the stripes between the different states?

Oh dude, the stripes around the states on the map are only meant as indicators. There are no visible borders between states, obviously.