Imagine, you’ve been invited to a fashion show, and when you arrive at your seat you find a crispy white, paper bag. What do you do? A: you yank the bag from your seat, turn it topsy turvy with its contents spilling on your lap, and extensively examine and test everything, or B: you pretend the bag doesn’t exist, and remove it nonchalantly from your seat, hardly looking at it.
10 points for those who answered B, and for those who answered A, well, you’re not allowed to visit a fashion show anymore OR you’ve got to pay extra attention to this Explorer. Because today, we’ll discuss the rules of the frow. Or, the dos and don’ts of the front row, which, in some cases, also apply to other rows.
The example of a goodie bag is a classic, and doesn’t only apply to fashion shows, but every event that has a goodie bag. A goodie bag one inspects at home, and never, NEVER at the party. That you’ll go completely nuts at home over all the freebies is of course fine, but for the rest of the world you’ve got to act like you don’t need free stuff, and those goodies “oh, well, maybe there’s something cool for my niece.” You’re allowed to say something on Twitter or Instagram when the bag’s really great because this shows the rest of the world that you’ve also got one. But remember, always act like you don’t really care.
Then, you’ve avoided the goodie bag, and took your frow place. They often have a press folder; that, you don’t touch, just sit on top of it. Otherwise, it’s blocking your view and your outfit. And now for your bag, what to do with it? A bag is a lot of hassle. You don’t want to put it on the floor because that’s disrespectful — assuming it’s not an H&M plastic bag or something really cheap. A couple of years ago, I went on a press trip to Paris for ELLE, where we had lunch at masterchef Alain Passard’s gardens. Hilmar Mulder from Grazia was also there, and didn’t know what to do with her beautiful, brand-new Chanel bag — putting it on the grass really wasn’t an option — and so a waiter rushed towards us to drape an ironed, cotton napkin on the ground so that the bag could rest safely.
Keep a small clutch in your hand on your lap, but park it behind your back if you’ve got a larger one, and there aren’t any waiters around. Worst case: put it on the floor next to your shoes, perhaps on the press folder.
Those shoes, by the way, are really important and deserve more attention than your bag. The really important and chic women don’t even wear a bag. Anna Wintour doesn’t do bags, and neither does Vogue Paris’s editorial army who has a driver that awaits them with a car and their bags. Anna has other useful tips (and less useful ones like: “you must wear an outfit once”). Never wear sunglasses during a show unless you’re Anna Wintour (you’re not) or when the designer specifically asked you to do so like Henry Holland did Kelly Osbourne a couple of seasons ago. “It’s impolite. The five minutes the audience see on the runway has taken the designer hundreds of hours to put together.”
What’s more, only use your phone to take photos, but for nothing else. To evoke Olivia Palermo: “an email can wait 7 minutes.” Keep low during the show, don’t over-enthusiastically chitchat with your neighbour. And never: scream when you know a model. Only Pixie Geldof seems to get away with this (“I shout at models when I know them; I’m like, oi! Eliza!”). Don’t chew gum, keep your legs crossed, especially when you’re wearing a short skirt. Don’t act hysterically when you see a celebrity nearby or simply act as though you don’t know them. Justin Bieber who?
Take all this to heart, and you’re the ultimate Front Row Girl before you know it. An FRG. In the fabulous book Bergdorf Blondes (recommended reading for everyone) are a couple of characteristics of these FRG, and two of these I’d like to conclude this Explorer with:
- Dress size: sample – i.e. 0, or 2 at the largest. If you get onto the front row and you’re not thin, you need a lot of personality to make up for it.
- Best friends: other Front Row Girls. FRGs don’t converse with Second Row Girls – it’s very bad for their backs to twist back like that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXRmWzi2ne4
