The five forbidden poses

Maybe you’ve already been, but the chance is big that you’ll soon be stretching out a soft bed with cocktail in hand sometime this August. Body already nicely tanned, the legs, the rest, all been through wax street. You’re ready. Your Instagram account begging for a few new pics. But please don’t be seduced by the stupid pose. Consider these poses forbidden. Really.

1. The Air space

I get it, that feeling of being on holiday the moment the aircraft’s wheels fold away. But that blue Dutch sky and a piece of airplane wing are not that exciting anymore. If you can’t help yourself, then take it. Just don’t share it, no please don’t.

2. The tower will keep leaning

When I visited the Tower of Pisa (was in the neighbourhood and wanted to give the kids a little culture), I could’t  understand what everyone was doing with their arms stretched out to the side. Yes, yes I admit. A little slow on the uptake. Photos of yourself trying to hold the Tower of Pisa up, I mean think about it.

3. Lifting pillars

During my culture cultivating tour we visited the Colosseum. Here again, those people trying to lift marble pillars up. Everyone I saw trying this pose out, first looked around sheepishly. In shame. Understandably. Save yourself the effort. You don’t have to do it.

4. Hand in The mouth

I’m staying in the Roman sphere. Around the corner from the Colosseum is the Boca della Verità. A large marble face with a myth attached to it; if you’ve been bad and you stick your hand in it’s mouth, you’ll get bitten. I had to deal with this one too, which was kind of a funny experience actually, to see all those tourists getting stirred up in their own language by the Italian Boca-boss. Okay. Everyone, and I mean everyone was having a photo taken with their hand in the mouth and pretending to get bitten. Actually so incredibly wrong that it just might be let off the hook. Because the sun is shining and I’m in a good mood.

5. The oh-I’m-so-happy-jump-in-the-air

For some unfathomable reason, most of the these photos are posted from some Thai beach. You know. A sunset type situation, beach, happy girl in white caftan, nonchalant braid and then a jump in the air, with both legs up and to the side. Why? As if you always do this when you’re happy. Surely you’d rather just plop down on your lounger and order another bucket of Xang Tip?