The BFF check off list

In 15 steps

The fun thing about having friends is that next to the ones you’ve known for years and years, you can always add a new batch to your list. And if you’re able to check off (most of) the points on this list, they really deserve to be labeled your best friend / bestie or BFF.

1.

She has lied for you before.

2.

You’ve held up each other’s hair as the other drains themselves of their alcohol infused night. Or you’ve spent 15 minutes switching on the women’s toilet hand dryer so no one could hear her while she cleansed herself of her excess of alcohol.

3.

You have the gift of always answering phone calls when you know something is really up. You usually let her leave a message, but you can sense it when something critical is happening and you need to jump in.

4.

You think of decoys to save her from uncomfortable situations or intrusive and/or boring men.

5.

You can easily tell her: ‘that outfit just doesn’t do you any justice.’

6.

You have the same repertoire of ‘remember that?-situations.’ Like that one time she rang the doorbell of the woman who had been sleeping around with her man, or that other time that your lover dropped you off at your best friend’s place while you were hyperventilating after discovering he had become chummy with some soap opera star. That kinda stuff.

7.

You’ve cried together. At the same time.

8.

You’ve peed together. And kept your conversation going while you were at it. You tell each other when you need to poop and discuss the amount, its substance and the ease of the delivery and its relief, and most importantly, you sat around in each others stench.

9.

You can sit together in absolute silence and still be very content.

10.

She can tell you that you’re not a great chef without being defensive. Because it’s the cold hard truth. And in some cases she’ll just drop by and feed you.

11.

She has driven to your house in the middle of the night because you were upset.

12.

You finish off each other’s sentences and speak a language of your own which sounds jibberish to others, but makes complete sense to you.

13.

You have your own phone codes like: always pick up during an unconventional time, ring 1 x ‘I want to talk to you but it can wait until tomorrow’ ring 2 x ‘I want to tell you something, call me back,’ and when you ring 3 times it’s an ‘SOS emergency call me NOW.’

14.

Her new boyfriend officially became her new boyfriend after he was approved by you.

15.

She knew you were pregnant before your HE did.