HOW TO BEHAVE AT A WEDDING
Spring has come and wedding season is here. People prefer sunny days to rainy ones for weddings and if you’re in your late twenties or prime thirties your weekends will be filled with celebrations of loving commitments by others. We’ve discussed what’s best to wear to weddings but don’t underestimate proper behavior.. Weddings and funerals are the worst places to make a faux pas. So here we go.
BEING LATE
Don’t. I was once invited to a wedding in Belgium by a Christian couple. A traffic jam delayed my entrance by ten minutes. I opened the church door while the priest (vicar, pope?) was in the middle of his speech. My green dress stood out from the dark dressed guests so I got the evil eye all day. They al looked at me thinking: ‘You were that godless creature that was late’. So, lesson learned, make sure you’re early instead of late.
SPEECHES
Different wedding, also in a church, the brother of the groom held a speech. The speech was hilarious. He had the audience in the palm of his hand. But a lot of anecdotes were about the wild collage years of the groom and I could see the grannies on the front row cringing with shame. Some stories work better at dinner or when you’re out with friends. Do you have to do a speech? Keep it short and share some nice anecdotes that don’t involve beer, tits and farts. This way everybody will enjoy it, including the exes and the grandmothers.
GOSSIPING
When the bride presents her dress and it turns out to be a strapless meringue you are permitted to sigh and roll your eyes but do it on the inside. You never know who’s listening, before you know it you’re babbling about how hideous the dress is to the bride’s best friend. You do not want that to happen. Be a more modest variation of yourself and do the gossiping afterwards.
FLIRTING
The the old saying ‘one wedding leads to another’. This might be a step too far but there is an awful lot of flirting going on at a wedding. Bachelors get a little frisky by all that eternal love talk and will try their luck with a pretty bridesmaid or a slightly drunk family member. Flirting is fun but beware of one-night stands masquerading the desire for love, it has disaster written all over it.
DANCING
Yes please and lots of it. Just avoid the father of the bride and the groom.
BOOZE
The cause of all evil. Drinks and emotions are a lethal combination. It’s usually the ceremony, drinks, dinner and party. I advise you to start drinking at the party and not beforehand. Otherwise you’ll forget everything that happened which would be a waste but there’s a bigger chance of you making a complete fool of yourself sitting drunkenly beside the mother of the bride telling her you’re so happy Shelly finally found a man that wanted to marry her. Not chic. Don’t go there.
