How to survive kids birthday parties

Last year I organized my first children’s birthday party. There’s some kind of bespoke rule that states you shouldn’t invite more children than the age of your child plus one. I don’t know which Einstein came up with this formula but I decided to ignore it. “Invite as many friends as you like, honey.” I boldly heard myself say. When the mothers came to bring all their children they said I was very brave to throw a four-hour party. “Usually the cake is gone by three and they’re all-in each other’s hair”, the more experienced mothers told me. A ‘good luck’ was added along with a comforting padding of the shoulder and off they went.

Meanwhile three boys were running on the table and the yelling was so loud some of these kids must be aspiring a fantastic career as F-side supporter. Did I mention I was suffering from throat problems that day? I couldn’t talk, only whisper.

The cake went well but after that came the questions. “What do we do now?” “Where are we going?” and to top it off” “I thought there was a going to be a pony ride?”

My answer that we were going to play games: cookie biting, nail pooping and a sack race, did not go down well. Their snubby little noses went right up into the air. This year it’s going to be different. Voilà my survival guide to kids birthday parties.

Book a help

Organizing a party for eight kids with food and drink and explaining games is not something you can do with only two people. Well I can’t. So I asked two girls from next door to assist.

Invite the same sex

If you have a girl, invite girls. And the other way around. Girls and boys like different things and it’s impossible to keep them in the same flow. I couldn’t and it’s not something I’ll try again. Boys are welcome here when they turn 16. Or somewhere around that age.

Do something

We thought doing games was exciting this generation wants to be entertained. Go to a theater, a horse ranch or a beauty salon. They usually have a kids program that will keep every one busy and happy. All you have to do is take pictures and be nice.

Be careful with social media

Parents like seeing what their children are doing. Very thoughtful of you to make a Whatsapp group including the children’s parents and sending them pictures during the afternoon. I wouldn’t post anything on Facebook or Instagram, not everyone appreciates that.

Keep some alcohol stand-by

Last year when I was up over my head my darling handed me a paper cup with Chardonnay. It was the best wine I ever tasted. Of course you have to stay sharp but a sip or two will smooth out your day’s rough edges.

Keep it short

Or as short as possible. Three hours is the usual duration of a party. I can’t manage that but everyone is safely back home within four hours. That’s when I open a bottle of champagne.

Tip

You can book online scavenger hunts. It’s still games but it has a theme and children like that. They get a diploma at the end and you’re their hero.