LYING TO SALES PEOPLE

Through the years I have spent uncountable hours in fitting rooms and even more hours in front of mirrors while shopping. This has brought me the necessary wisdom (Thou shall not always try bikinis on at home) and life lessons (when in doubt; don’t). But it has also brought me an unbelievable amount of lies and excuses. Because for some silly reason I find it impossible to tell shop staff my honest opinion.  “Yes. No, I’ll come back later for another look”, is my punch line but I have so many more.

For starters I always get confused when I come out of the fitting room and the lady asks me ‘Are you okay with those?’. What am I supposed to answer? Yes I was physically capable of putting them on but they didn’t really fit or I liked it but it isn’t really my style so I’ll think about it? Aaarrggh – total meltdown. But seriously, what should I say?

In a store where the personal attention is greater the lies are bigger. I have cringed under the supervision of sales assistant no.1 while trying on a dress for ages and eventually deciding not to buy it. Call me a loser or a coward but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. Sales assistant no.1 had raved about the dress, told me I looked amazing and then along came sales assistant no.2 in total agreement telling me I looked gorgeous. If I tell them I don’t like it at all and that it makes me look fat and ugly I’ll insult lady no.1 and no.2, I don’t want to do that. So I’ll mumble something about wanting to try it on with other shoes/underwear/clutch/hairstyle and get out of the store as soon as possible and yes of course I’ll come back.

Another great excuse is telling them you’ll be back with a friend, for mental support. But if you’ve run into one of those friendly assistants (usually the female male type) who’d like to step in as your BFF, don’t buy it! Stay strong girl!

Look, they need to meet their targets and sales and I’m just a coward afraid of criticizing their clothes, a hopeless combination right from the start. Besides I’m convinced they’re on to me and know I’ll never be coming back, meaning I’m putting on an act for nothing. Are any of you sales assistants? Are types like me so obvious? If so please tell me: how do I get over this?