MAY’s CIVILIZED TRAITS

On my way home I was drinking a can of cola light. When it was empty I vented a little burp. Sorry, I’m only human. Surprisingly I found myself saying ‘excuse-me’, out loud. To whom? Why did I do this? We seem to act more civilized than you might expect.

Even when you’re alone. Ridiculous.

People have been making fun of me because of this. When I’m driving around in a parking garage and I turn a corner, I signal. I don’t know why I do this but I can’t seem to get it out of my system.

When Liesbeth leaves her house she always says: “ Bye Disco. See you tonight.” And if she planned to spend the night somewhere else she says: “See you tomorrow Disco.” If she forgets to say goodbye she goes back, even if she has to climb all three flights of stairs. We’re talking about a cat here. Just to be clear on that.

Taking a sip straight from the bottle or out of the carton when you’re alone. It can feel good but I don’t do it. Not even if some yogurt is stuck on the rim of the carton. I use my finger and then lick my finger. That’s something, right?

I’d like to cross my arms as well but that wouldn’t be considered safe in a car. I’d also like to say: “It wasn’t me. Honest.” The police still rattle my cage, even after all those years.

This one is mostly about Liesbeth. She makes her bed with military precision every single day. She airs her bed while she’s under the shower, she then sprays on a special bed perfume and makes her bed, tight as a tick.

Sorry about being intimate here but I never step out of my panties. I throw them in the laundry basket or on the floor but I turn them over. There are never any stains as such but if there were you wouldn’t see them. Told ya I’m a little Miss Tidy.