moments you turn out to be the biggest cockblocker
Your outfit is to die for, make-up and hair are as they should be you feel you’re on top of the world and have a permanent glow about you in the bar or in the disco. Tonight he’s yours or that guy or even him, well you’re going to get your hands on somebody. You’re totally up for it. Unless you do one of the things on the following list; then your plan will fail miserably. Sometimes you end up being the biggest cockblocker yourself.
when you’re really really drunk
Everything seems fine until you get off your bar stool and crash to the ground. He peels you off the floor and while you thing you are giving him a seducing look all he can see is half closed eyes peering at his chin because that’s where you think his eyes are. So charming.
when you forgot it’s your period
You’ve managed to make it home from the club and are on your way upstairs and pulling at each other’s clothes. You fall entwined onto the bed when you remember the red sea between your legs. Well, what do you do?
when you forgot his name
This has happened to me. I had been flirting and drinking with a hunk all night when a friend passed us and I enthusiastically introduced him as “Mark”. It didn’t even come close to resembling his name. He was not amused. And I , admittedly, had had too much to drink to engage in friendly conversation.
when you make everything up
You’re a marketing manager at this or that company were born in Rotterdam and now have a loft near the Amsterdam canal. You graduated Cum Laude at the University of Amsterdam and lived in Paris for two years and after that in Hong Kong for six months. Later in the conversation you say you hope to visit Hong Kong one day and a little later on you mention something about growing up in a small town. Wrong and believe me he’s onto you.
when you’re out of credit
You, being the cosmopolitan girl you are, proudly say you’ll take the bill because you hate living out of his wallet. With a firm swipe of the arm you push your plastic into the ATM only to have it returned by the machine humiliating bleeping and “ no credit” spelled out on the screen. “ Uhm honey? Could you help me out here?”
when you did some digital spying on him and pretend you didn’t
When, in a slip of the tongue you say something that proves you’ve done some digital spying . I was in that situation once, very uncomfortable. I met a guy that I had checked on Facebook before meeting him in person. I pretended I didn’t know anything about him, where he had studied or who his friends were. Then I said “ Didn’t so and so have a great party?” to which he said: “ how did you know I was there?” I babbled something about tagged pictures but it was too late. He left.
