7 things you can’t wear after 35

It’s common knowledge; children and drunks speak the truth and I would like to add a third party. The gay-friend. I have quiet a few of them (hi guys) and I can tell you they don’t beat around the bush. “Girl, do something about that powder. The only things with color on your face are your teeth.” Or, “You watch it now or I’ll tell everyone your wearing last years Miu Miu.” Or, “Darling, love that dress, but it really doesn’t do anything for you.”

I can imagine not everybody wants to put up all this but I prefer critique to my face and allegedly not behind my back. You can use it to your advantage. And to be fair; they are always right. That’s why I asked my dear HNTM colleague Fred van Leer to be really honest about women of a certain age, let’s say 35, shouldn’t wear anymore. You’ll thank me for this. Or at least your friends and family will.

A definite no-go. When the geraniums come crashing down while waving to your neighbor from the balcony you know your bare-arm- era is over. Still want to? Go for a capped sleeve, please.

Really you just look like a very old girl when wearing pants that hang around your hips. And if you’re really honest you just can’t pull it off anymore. I mean check out those love handles. And if you insist on wearing pants with tears or holes in them; buy a good brand and make sure they have a high waist. Thank you.

Stay clear of neon colors. It’s cute for a pump or a bag, but please (gasp) no neon shirts. It won’t improve you overall look. Scout’s honor.

Now I’ve never had a thing for shirts with texts and after a certain age you should ban them. Or do you really enjoy walking around with ‘nerd’ or ‘Bitch’ on you shirt?

We don’t have insights on anyone’s bank accounts but jewelry that makes you turn green, preferably not. No one ever looked better with a nickel rash. So not.

Great for a styling shoot with Vogue but not in real life. Whether 25, 18 or 24 you look like a knit whit. Get my drift?

Keep it subtle and chic. You can surprise people with a statement and even if you do have a terrific bod, save it for that special someone. People can already see that shaped body, straight through your clothes.