Buying Bikinis: a string of advice

While Jet has been working her **s off preparing for the summer, otherwise known as bikini-time, I dissolve Twix and Snickers bars on a daily basis. The darker my shade of green, it’s a jealous green and it’s not making me any fitter. My fear for bikini buying has grown, and is of a much greater proportion than it was last year or maybe it was just as bad, like all the years before. With the discipline of a goldfish when it comes to working out (presuming goldfish in the rule are not disciplined) I have come up with a few tricks over the years to make this gruesome bikini buying business more bearable.

pick a good day

We all have fat days and thin days. Sometimes you have two fat days in a row due to eating larger portions, but sometimes you have them for no particular reason. Bikini shopping is something you do, not surprisingly, on a thin day. If you spent Sunday evenings around the table with the whole family stuffing yourself with cheese fondue, Monday is not a good day to be standing in front  mirror practically naked. I like prepare my bikini buying days: if I happen to know beforehand that I will be shopping for a bikini on Thursday then the day before, Wednesday, I eat less than I usually do, and throw in lots of soup. I don’t know what doctor Jet makes of this but it works a charm for me.

Go in the Morning

You won’t be as bloated as you would be after eating and drinking all day (no matter if it’s healthy food or not). All those tight tummies you see on Instagram? All morning shots.

Check the fitting rooms

If they are too small, too ugly or badly lite you have to take a stand and relentlessly walk away. Or: buy all the bikinis you want in all the sizes you think you might have and try the whole lot at home. Return the rest.

even better, shop online

Fitting rooms as such are a setback for the (female) human race. Due to bad fitting rooms you will keep on walking away without your much needed bikini. So get online and order god knows how many sets and schedule a morning fitting session. If the fit is even just that wee bit nippy, send it back. Never think: I will fit into that someday. Just not going to happen. There is enough disappointment in life without the need for a DIY disaster. Go for a good fit.