What do you wear to a funeral?
Paying your last respects or saying goodbye to a loved one is a difficult moment for anyone. And you’ll want to dress appropriately. I obviously hope that you don’t actually need this post any time soon, but if you are experiencing a terrible moment, let it be a tiny shoulder to lean on.
Go for modest
A black outfit is obviously most appropriate for a funeral. But there are moments when it’s not. My grandmother died in her sleep after a long and happy life. She bore six children, was still with the love of her life and was grandmother to sixteen grandchildren. I missed her but it was okay. A full black outfit did not portray the right feeling. A black pencil skirt and a cream polka dot blouse worn with a black jacket over the top is a perfect outfit.
Dark blue, bordeaux red or dark green are also good funeral shades. It’s about the mood, not distracting and not creating an impression that it’s great fun. So Hawaii prints and slogans are banned, unless the deceased wanted that badly. Keep to the rule that you dress as if you are going to church. I’m not even sure if you do, but you know what I mean.
Hair tied back
Hair should be tied back. I asked myself why this is and came up with the reason. Loose hair has a feeling of sensuality. That’s why muslim women cover their hair and why many Jewish women wear wigs. Hair is only for their loved ones. We’re totally different when it comes to this but I feel that it is appropriate to tie your back for official ceremonies. And no it doesn’t need to be boring.
Covered up please
I watched a movie recently and saw a widow at a funeral wearing a dress with totally bare arms. Now it isn’t really the moment to be saying anything but you know, if you want the advice; don’t do it. Inappropriate. And mostly does not make you look good, sorry. Unless you’re seventeen or Michelle Obama. Although she wouldn’t do this at a funeral either.
I’m a real pantyhose-gestapo and mostly spread bare leg propaganda around or a thick stocking, but a thin pantyhose is okay at a funeral. No flesh colour though. Definitely not.
Don’t forget the shoes
Polish your shoes as a sign of respect. Your sneakers should be left at home for this okay? The safest is to go for a classic pump with a broader heel (a thin heel will vanish in the grass, which you don’t want obviously) or a brogue.
The bag, The bag, The bag
I often see women dragging around huge bags at funerals. Looks so out of place. As if you’re making a quick pit stop on your way to work. Even if this is true, leave the shopping bag in the car. Carry a small, not too obvious but pretty bag to the service and the wake. Your whole outfit should scream that your one and only agenda entry today was to say goodbye to this person.
And one more thing
Your mobile. Into flight mode. No What’sApps, no Instagram, no SELFIES, nothing at all. If you find this difficult, seek help.
The most important thing of all is being there. And remembering this wonderful person. That’s what really matters. Amen.
