WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE ENDS UP IN THE HOSPITAL

These are the things you should never say

Last week someone near and dear to me ended up in the hospital. Luckily, things are alright but man oh man, when someone ends up in the hospital it really brings out the worst in some people. I’m going to introduce you to the dumbest things people will say and ask you.

is she dieing?

I.Kid.You.Not. Someone once asked a friend of mine this when her daughter was in surgery for a crucial heart operation. Well, hmm, thanks for asking. It’s possible yes, and don’t think that isn’t something that frightens someone everyday. In the unfortunate occasion that it does happen, they’ll let you know.

why didn’t you call me?

Precisely what someone asked me in my current situation. A pissed off aunt who loves spreading bad news was angry that we hadn’t called her to let her know what was up. She didn’t even ask how the patient was doing and if his wife was okay. Nope, she didn’t even ask if there was anything she could do for us. She did want to know how severe the situations was. I guess that just makes the story juicier.

i would neeeever do that

Another dear friend of mine had found a tumor in her breast and opted for amputation and reconstruction rather than breast saving surgery (if that is how you can put it) which means the chances that the cancer can come back are higher. “I would never do that,” someone else I know said. I’m pretty sure you are in absolutely no state to judge what you would or would not do. And besides, why does your opinion even matter? I’m sure she put a lot of thought into her decision, don’t you?

my neighbor had that too

Another odd ball. If you tell someone your most personal story, some people hardly let you finish before throwing the I-know-someone-who-had-that-too bomb in there. And for some reasons the stories are always ones with unhappy endings.

are you seriously going to that hospital?

As if you have the time to properly research each and every hospital in your state or country. It’s normal to go to one that’s close to where you live. Plus you’re not living in a third world country so you should expect that most hospitals are decent and otherwise you always have the option to transfer to a different one. I bet your interrogator doesn’t know all the pro’s and con’s of every hospital.

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Something else that amazes me. People who don’t say anything. Don’t ask anything. Absolutely nothing. Perhaps they think it’s hard or are worried they’ll say the wrong thing (like anything you can find above). You know what you could ask? How someone is doing. That’s a great place to start. And if there is anything they can do for you. And that everything will be okay. Those kinds of things….