WHY WOMEN DON’T OPEN THEIR MAIL

A long time ago I wrote an article about things you can get away with before hitting 30, that won’t work after you’ve passed this age. One of those things was not opening your mail, thus ignoring Potentially Important Issues.

Now I don’t know if this is a women thing in general, but in our editorial team, Jet, May and I are guilty. To me that is an argument that will hold up in court. When I open the front door and see blue envelopes, bank statements, insurance letters or other similar stuff lying on the stairs I just take a big step over them. I can keep this up for at least five days, until my neighbors, with whom I share the staircase, collect it an put it on ‘my’ stairs (they’re a little higher up). Point taken.

There comes a time when I pick them up and take them in to open them later “when I have the time“. But  as I’ve just written that I don’t actually open my mail, I don’t. The pile gets higher and higher, turning into an chaotic catastrophe, that leaves me with two options.

“THANK GOODNESS MY FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU ENDS WHEN YOU TURN 27, THAT’S ONE MORE MONTH!”

A part of the pile is no longer urgent and another part has taken to the category code red with fierce sanctions hanging over my head. look, my theory always is: if it’s important they’ll call. As long as they haven’t called me everything is A-okay. A very strong theory, if I say so myself, but not everyone agrees with me on this.

One of those people is my father. He almost had a heart attack when he came in to feed Disco while I was away on my trip to Milan. He had to wade his way through the piles of unopened envelopes. My dad, a man of compulsory order when it comes to Potentially Important Issues, bombarde me with angry texts telling me i would go to jail if I didn’t  IMMEDIATELY open my mail and WHAT WAS I THINKING. “That’s why you can afford ALL THOSE SHOES!” And my favorite; “THANK GOODNESS MY FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU ENDS WHEN YOU TURN 27, THAT’S ONE MORE MONTH!”

obligation an responsibility don’t exist

Luckily I was well prepared as was expected there was an issue with the bank, but then they had called me and neatly informed me of the situation (theory proves correct) and everything had been taken care of. Only, yes, well, those stupid letters kept coming, not something I could do anything about.

The reason for not opening letters is I like the sort of Disneyland feeling and that doesn’t include things like responsibility and obligation. i don’t want to be confronted will sour grapes like tax forms. Just leave me alone and keep all that nagging about gas bills and home insurance to yourself. i don’t want to hear about Waternet nor my power bill or medical insurance. First of all I know that he moment big companies start sending me letters I won’t understand them and second if i do understand them I don’t want anything to do with them.

The solution is simple; don’t open them. The art of acting like an ostrich and sticking my head in the sand have become my second nature in spite of the potentially punishable consequences. Maybe people like my father and the tax department could show me a little compassion instead of getting angry at me all the time.