5 Reasons
why you should gossip more
After an evening with lots of wine and wild stories a girlfriend of mine, S. always ends with: ‘I should quit gossiping now, otherwise karma will come around and bite me in the tush.’
I once read an interview with a popular tv personality about how tempting it is to gossip, but after such an evening you are left feeling, empty, shallow and ridden with guilt. However, according to a fantastic article in science mag Quest this does not have to be the case and gossiping can in fact be good for you. So, here are some insides from Quest with a few of my own thrown in for good measure.
It is primal
I hear you laughing, but it’s true. Just like monkeys, people spend 20% of their time socially interacting. Monkeys do it by de-fleaing each other, we do it by talking to each other. We exchange information about others, possible friends and potential enemies. Because of our ability to reach more people and obtain more knowledge it’s enabled us to move beyond the primitive confines of the jungle and out into the greater, open world.
It creates a bond
When you share something with someone it strengthens your bond. It is also good if in the workplace there is a collective enemy. For example, your business competitor or that annoying manager. It strengthens the group and may even lead to friendships. You have to be clear in your gossip behavior though. If you gossip with one about someone else and then gossip with them about the other, it makes you unreliable.
Gossip is knowledge
Gossiping is quickly perceived as being negative, but that’s not entirely correct. Two scientists have studied 194 instances of gossipy conversations and found that only 27% of the conversations had a negative tone. Another 27% of the conversations were labeled as positive and the rest were not classified as either positive or negative. Gossiping is a form of information exchange and a way to see how you relate to the rest of the group.
It gives you insight
Previously when I’d come home from work and share stories of work woes with my beloved hubby, his immediate response was: ‘Quit.’ Or I’d begin to talk about friendship drama and he’d say: ‘End the friendship.’ Men have a much smaller need for gossip, once they express something they immediately put it into action. For us women it is more the case that we need to discuss the same situation several times in order to come to a clear understanding of what the problem actually is. Gossip is our everyday psychoanalysis.
Gossiping protects us
We tend to begin gossiping around the age of ten. During high school I remember passing notes with my girlfriends all day long, and then as soon as we’d be home we would call each other. We spoke mainly about boys, but also about other girls and annoying teachers. According to the science, gossiping behavior should be welcomed and celebrated. It helps you to understand your place within a group and will warn you of any danger. Like a guy who raped a girl after having spiked her drink. This helps to inform and protect others.
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So, to sum it all up; gossiping is not so bad after all. To go through life with a clean conscious, I stick to the following gossip criteria:
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- Do not gossip about your nearest and dearest.
- Only communicate the things that you would also dare to say to the face of the person you are talking about.
- Try to not condemn the person. When people do things differently than me, I prefer to see it as entertaining and surprising rather than reprehending their behavior. Who am I to judge?
