Fashion
10 THINGS YOU’LL RECOGNIZE IF YOU LIKE TO WEAR HEELS
Look. I like heels. I like them a lot. They make you tall and pretty and for some reason they also make you look a lot slimmer. But let’s be real here, wearing them isn’t always a hoot. Here are the ten things that go through my head when I wear heels. I’m sure you can recognize them.
1. Heels are my only savior today.
Because today, dear friends, I’m having a fat day. And on my fat days, heels are my BFF. They make me feel slimmer and what other thing can you think of that will make you feel that way? I’ve never heard of fits that make you loose three kilo’s in an afternoon.
2. Sucks that my prettiest heels hurt the most.
Unfortunately I let the sales lady trick me into buying them when she said the pain would disappear and I’d get used to them quickly. Bad sales rep. Bad bad sales rep. (But pretty feet.)
3. Fact: you’re going to have to walk in your ‘sitting pretty’ shoes.
You know what it is with those shoes that are extremely uncomfortable to walk in so you decided to always wear them when you know you’re going to be doing a lot of sitting? You’re going to have to walk anyway. To the bathroom (if you’re at a restaurant), to a cab, to your front door.
4. Did you know it was possible to faint from painful shoes?
I once fainted when I was wearing really high heels. Okay, nearly. It was fashion week in Amsterdam and there was a really long line waiting to get in. My heart rate started increasing, my feet starting to ache and slowly but surely the pain for worse and I started feeling drowsy. All I wanted to do was take them off, but who the hell does that during fashion week? No-go. My only other alternative was to just bite my lip and keep on keeping on. Until I nearly blacked out and decided I needed to take a seat. In front of a crowd of important fashion people. And yes, I had to start way back in the back of the line.
5. Heels. To be honest, from a feministic point of view, they’re awful.
I’ll save this for another time.
6. Principally, they always fit.
No matter how fat or skinny you are. And that’s why so many people own them. Same story for bags.
7. I already own 26 pairs, but it’s discount season.
And you know what it is? I don’t have a cute pair to wear with my new bright yellow dress from Vanilia. Except for my Chloé pumps, but I can’t always wear those. Time to buy a new pair.
8. I know it’s better to invest in basics and shoes that aren’t too bold.
Everytime I get my paycheck I think: I need to purchase basics. But I also know: one pretty pair of heels are going to boost my wardrobe, or at least that one dress that I own. Dilemmas, dilemmas.
9. I want one of those pretty shoe closets.
Like the ones you see on Insta. My shoes are scrambled around my entire home. I stumble on a pair at least once a week. Solution: shoe closet. Plan: free carpenter.
10. Oh yes, I’m telling you: every pair of heels requires a pair of flats in the same style.
This is a perfect idea because at the end of a long day, all you want to do is take those babies off. But you don’t want to look like an idiot, you still want people to be impressed by what’s on your feet.
