Fashion
13 THINGS THAT GO THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU’RE ON THE VERGE OF SPLURGING ON SOMETHING EXPENSIVE
During my trip to Paris I did something naughty. I wish I could come up with another term to describe it, something less porno, but I spent a hefty amount for something I didn’t really need so all in all, I was naughty.
You should know: before women go swiping their cards to do something naughty, there are about thirteen things that go through their head. Ever doubted whether or not you should swipe? Then these are some thoughts you might recognize.
1. “I can still go back. I don’t really need it anyway. I can still put it back. Put it back. Ha-ha. HAHAHA.”
2. “I can bring out my inner Olympian and sprint out of this store with it and hope no one will be able to catch me. Although I’ll probably trip and fall like an idiot at the doorstep.”
3. “Did I seriously just consider stealing something at a chic store? I should buy something to hide my intense shame.”
4. “I haven’t bought anything really nice for myself in a long time. I deserve this. And when I do I promise I won’t go shopping for THREE MONTHS.” (Spoiler: this is challenge our lifestyle editor started with on the first day of June. Good luck, friend….)
“So theoretically, this thing is free”
5. “If I buy it, I’ll spend the rest of the week eating at a friends place. I’m sure she won’t mind.”
6. “Wait, is that a scratch I see? Hmm, perhaps I’ll be able to get a bit of discount.”
7. “You know, that one friend of mine still owes me money. So does my sister. And tax returns. So theoretically, this thing is free.”
8. “Why do I always have to do things for myself and why isn’t someone else buying this for me? Somebody? Mom?”
9. “Why is the sales woman giving me such a neutral stare? Like this isn’t going to cost me a fortune. She could look at me more proudly. An applause even.”
10. “Just to get back at her I should head back and buy at least ten thousand euros worth of stuff. That’ll teach her.”
11. “I’m just going to breathe in deeply and count to three before I swipe my card. One… Twoooo…”
12. “Just a few more seconds and I’ll be done. And then I’m going to give my credit card to my mom.”
13. “Okay, that bleeping noise means I paid. Help.”
