Happy & Healthy

5 THINGS I’M GOING TO DO DIFFERENTLY AT MY SECOND WEDDING

You’ve got people who only ever want to get married once in their lives. Either it’ll workout or it won’t and if it doesn’t, you shouldn’t do it again. I happen to be getting married for the second time and I love it. Not only because I am head over heels in love with my incredibly handsome fiancé, but also because I know exactly what I should do differently the second time round. So because you might not have the intention of ever getting married for a second time, here are some things you can learn from my ‘mistakes’. Hereby my list of improvement points:

1. Get married in white, with a veil 

The first time I got married, I set foot in a store in Rotterdam where they had beautiful silk (wedding)gowns. The owner immediately told me: “You have to shine!” And then got me to try on a bright red strapless dress. My ex, who tagged along, another thing that won’t happen this time around, loved it. And hence the reason I ended up getting married in bright red. Come to think of it now, it was such a shame. It just so happens that I’ve got more opportunities to wear a strapless red dress than the average person that I know, but still. You can only wear a white dress once (okay, eight times works too if your name is Elizabeth Taylor) with a veil, tiara, bridal bouquet and you name it. Every other dress that you own will come in handy at some other point in life. So grab this opportunity for the white one!

2. Make sure you have a second outfit

Another thing I didn’t think about the first time round. After spending the entire day in a beautiful red wedding dress, I wanted nothing more than to party in the evening with my friends. In something comfortable, also known as something that isn’t long and isn’t strapless. I happened to have brought along a weekend bag filled with sweatpants and a t-shirt, so you can take a wild guess as to what I put on. To avoid this fashion faux pas at my next wedding, I made sure to purchase another nice and simple white dress. One that I can put on if I want to go crazy on the dance floor in the evening.

3. Keep it small

It’s easy to think: the more, the merrier. Not at a wedding I can tell you. At my first one I had invited my friends, as well as people like coworkers, uncles and aunts I hardly ever see, neighbors I hardly talk to and so on. I can tell you that I never really had any contact with these people afterwards. Better yet, I can’t even remember everyone that was there. I do remember spending the entire evening saying hi to everything only to then repeat the same thing as I said goodbye to everyone. My real friends, the ones you really want to celebrate with, gave me a break that night because they saw how busy I was. That’s why I’ve decided to get married abroad this time and only invite my best friends. Then when we get back home we’ll make sure to arrange a night with drinks for everyone who didn’t attend.

4. Be extremely clear

You’re getting married for yourself, not for others. We all know it, but during my first wedding I had a hard time being assertive. When people asked me if they could bring someone I didn’t necessarily want there, I would say yes, this time round I’m saying no. Or the hairdresser who promised me my hair looked great even though I was doubting it, and then realized when I saw the wedding photos that my gut instinct has been right and it really didn’t look all too great. These types of examples. It’s you day. You make the decisions. Be a bitch if you have to.

5. Take the time for each other

My last wedding was an extremely busy day. I was exhausted at the end of it and to be honest, it really wasn’t the best day of my life. My ex-husband and I hardly talked to each other, besides the ceremony, because we were too busy entertaining others. My current fiancé and I have planned our day entirely different. We plan on starting our day at the beach together, just the two of us, and not leaving each other side for the rest of the day.

Whether or not these tips helped? I’ll make sure to fill you in with a to be continued post…

Written by Marion Pauw