Fun & Famous
THE WORST OF THE WORST FROM DONALD TRUMP
9 ridiculous statements that have come out of Trump’s mouth
For anyone who is keeping up to date with the current elections in the US – and even for everyone who isn’t – know that there is one individual who keeps spewing out his uncensored thoughts: the filthy rich Donald Trump. Let’s not even begin on the fact that a real presidency is starting to become a realistic option, but that’s a story for another time. Tadaaa: his so called humor and extremely embarrassing quotes – explanations included.
‘An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud’
Huh? Wait, Obama doesn’t exist? Are we looking at a hologram? Or is his real name Max Power and has he found a way to infiltrate the White House in the name of uh…. North Korea? Or is he really a she? Ahhhh the suspense is killing me! (Ever since 2012, Trump has made it his goal to prove that Obama was not born in the United States. No luck so far.)
‘Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!’
Cheer up Robert, don’t cry. Donald is a Team-Edward kind of guy. For those of you who have someone managed to miss the Twilight Saga, either you’re team vampire (Pattinson) or team werewolf (Lautner). Obviously Trump is for the blood suckers. Goes without saying.
‘You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.’
And that’s how it is, Donald. Hot arm candy is all you need in life…
‘All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.’
Oh Donald, you sexy motherfucker, who could ever resist you? His Royal Hotness might not be the prettiest boy on the planet, but that erudite spirit of his, unprecedentedly sophisticated humor, his charm… I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby.
‘The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.’
Oh man, Donald is all about the self-knowledge. Filthy rich is indeed a very impressive quality that’ll -unfortunately- get you very far in life.
‘It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!’
Yes, Donald, how about you crank up all those heaters and make all your friends work overtime in their factories to hemp increase the amount of CO2 emissions. That’ll teach the climate how to work! How dare it snow when you don’t want it to!
‘I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.’
Perhaps – wait no, most definitely – one of the creepiest things I’ve ever heard him say. Creepy on so many levels.
‘My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.’
Hmmm, I wonder what he means by this. Think he’s talking about his toes?
‘My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.’
This is the modern version of the fairytale The Emperors New Clothes. The emperor’s got it, but no one sees it.
