Happy & Healthy
DIGITAl dating
7 things that make it extremely difficult
According to new data (this is based entirely on the Netherlands), 15% of all internet users has used a dating site. In such a small country, that’s about two million people. And that’s a lot. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t find it romantic at all. I’m not saying we should get rid of all dating apps, but it’s turned into a yes and no type of game based entirely on what people look like.
Perhaps I shouldn’t be such a nag and just accept that the digital hunt of finding a partner is just a part of the current era I live in. But hey, can I at least give you seven points as to why online dating is so complicated?
1. We’re always looking for ‘perfect’
Digital dating leads to unrealistic expectations. We see one perfect picture after another on Instagram. Any by endlessly swiping through profile photos you’ll almost start thinking: this person is cute, but I’m sure I’ll come across someone I’ll like even more. And so on, and so on.
“A photoshopped bathroom selfie using neon lights has nothing to do with what you look like when you’re doing the groceries”
2. Suddenly you’ve got a ton of dates up for grabs
And yes, it’s going to stress you out and you’re going to start becoming very picky. It’s like comparing 7 different kinds of jam in a grocery strore. Who. The. Hell. Do. You. Pick?
3. Men and women both have different ways of looking for a potential partner
Whereas men unconsciously search for signs of fertility (young, healthy women, with a good waist and wide hips), women look for men to ‘protect’ them. According to research, we look for men who are wealthy, athletic, have an asymmetrical face and great genes for potential kids. So, now you know what your profile photo is supposed to look like.
4. Speaking of: lot’s of profile pictures are deceiving
Whoever you are, a photoshopped bathroom selfie using neon lights has nothing to do with what you look like when you’re doing the groceries. Most profile summaries won’t help you out either. Practically everyone on dating sites suddenly has ‘spontaneous, adventurous, likes to have fun, music and wine, not really looking for anything serious, but I would like to…’ Yeah, okay. Buh-bye.
“”How about we talk dirty to each other?”, was a message a friend of mine recently received when she had asked a guy to meet up for drinks.”
5. Annoying sex talk
Alright, so you’re on the hunt for something serious, but first you have to filter out all the messages from losers. “How about we talk dirty to each other?”, was a message a friend of mine recently received when she had asked a guy to meet up for drinks. THE ASS. Dating sites have turned into some kind of computer game in which men go looking for boobs. And it’s a game in which a lot of ego’s get bruised and poor souls get hurt.
6. You’ll never know if there really is chemistry
If you meet someone at the gym or at bar, then you’ll know right away whether you’re attracted to someone, but on a dating site, it’s a whole other ball game. Whether or both there’s chemistry is something you won’t figure out until your very first date.
7. It’s impersonal
De technologische vooruitgang en de sterk groeiende online datingindustrie zorgen voor wel heel onpersoonlijke liefdes, vind je niet? Liefdesexperts zijn het erover eens: misschien moeten maar we een stapje terug nemen. Face-to-face communiceren. Lijkt me een puik plan.
