Happy & Healthy

don’t want to say ‘chips’ when you mean ‘shit’?

Here are curse words that do work

Cursing is just like smoking. Until a certain age it’s considered funny and cool and sexy, but suddenly (and no one can tell you exactly when) it just no longer works for you.

Adding children into the mix won’t be helping you out either in both cases. Smoking is bad for you and it gives you wrinkles, so that habit was an easy one to beat. Curse words however, didn’t leave my repertoire until I heard one of my girls say ‘gotammit’ when she dropped her bottle of milk.

Meanwhile, a growth spurt later, my kids no longer repeat what I say, but they cover their mouths in shock when they hear me curse. The most mundane ‘god damn it’ isn’t even allowed.

”But I refuse to say ‘chips’ instead of ‘shit’.”

But I refuse to say ‘chips’ in stead of ‘shit’. Or ‘fudge’ instead of ‘fuck’. I made a promise when to friends of mine (who don’t have any kids) when I got pregnant that there were two things I would never do. Bye one of those cargo bikes you can fit three kids into (never did and still regret it) and never use the word ‘chips’.

But when you do stab your toe against the foot of a chair or your daughter drops her lemonade all over your new Isabel Marant boots, something has to come out of your mouth. So I came up with something. The fashion curse.

‘Oh my god’ becomes ‘oh my Gucci’, ‘shit’ becomes ‘shshshanel’ and ‘damn it’ becomes ‘ddddolce’. Now I still have to find an alternative for ‘jesus’. Anyone have any ideas?