Fun & Famous
GETTING DRUNK AT AN OFFICE PARTY: HOW GREAT IS THAT?
Obviously it’s an absolute dime when one of your colleagues jumps up on the pool table with her legs spread wide open yelling ’take me, take me now’, or when the receptionist attempts to do the moonwalk but ends up tripping and falling over and your boss spends at least 3 minutes looking like an idiot trying to close his zipper – but then the following day this question arises: is it smart to get wasted at a company party?
I’m saying: No. Luckily all the company parties I’ve been to haven’t consisted of any of these embarrassing moments. Besides, alcohol makes me way too overconfident and I end up saying dumb/blunt/politically incorrect/frank things. More then I’d like too. Take note of the word ‘more’: things just roll out of my mouth. Things that would be best if I kept them to myself. Luckily, thus far I’ve been able to control the damage.
”Wondering why, WHY the heck I said something like ‘yes, I love giving blow jobs’ to people who really shouldn’t know the slightest about my sex life”
Once alcohol is involved, people are more bombastic, as in I wake up soaked in sweat and nervous out of pure and utter shame wondering why, WHY the heck I said something like ‘yes, I love giving blow jobs’ to people who really shouldn’t know the slightest about my sex life. No wait, let me rephrase what I just said: the fact that the conversation was about sex is fine – but I shouldn’t talk about the deed itself, in the office supply closet between all the post-its, perforations and HB pencils.
The best and most legendary company parties always result in sex, between others, who leave a stash of black mail at the photocopier because yes, this is one of those kinkier areas that people who are in the mood can’t help but give a shot. Or sobfests because of that unrequited office love. Or a spectacle of a boss who manages to turn the entire office into a junk yard because he manages to fall and break every possible thing in the office. It’s hilarious, you’ll have people on the floor laughing – but it’s not a smart move. It sounds like such a smart move to organize – a company party – a moment for managers and other employees to level up due to alcohol. But should you really ever level with your coworkers?
”You know: what happens at a company party, doesn’t stay at a company party. Shit is going to live a life of their own.”
No, you really shouldn’t want that. Most companies consist of hierarchies. There’s a reason for this – no matter how much you might hate it. You can pretend like you’re equals, but in the end it’s person A who is responsible for results, not person B who’s responsible for something entirely different. Catch my drift? But how are you going to take person A serious after a company party after you saw them hooking up with one of the interns in the office hallway? I might make them more ‘humane’, but it’ll also make them feel like less of a boss. Hence, less professional. Because is this intern now going to get jobs and other things that you’ve been working so hard to obtain?
And what if person B is extremely intoxicated and blurts out all the things that are wrong with person A? Because everyone’s got things about coworkers that annoys them and after a couple of glasses of wine (or which ever alcohol beverage you’re drinking), arguments easily arise as well as misunderstanding. Admit it: it would have been a smarter move if person B had talked about the issue during office hours in a professional manner. For those around you it often leads to fantastic and hilarious scenes, but those can end up living a life of their own. You don’t want that. You know: what happens at a company party, doesn’t stay at a company party. Shit is going to live a life of their own like I just said and before you know it, the dynamic at the office is going to go topsy-turvy. Good luck with the damage.
Written by Kalinka Hählen
