Fun & Famous

HOW MAY-BRITT GOT A REALITY CHECK

Whether or not I’d be interested in spending the night at a five star hotel in Caubourg. Caubourg happens to be a picturesque little beach town in Normandy and anything five stars always appeals to me. Even the cultural history of the hotel allured me, because Proust would go there as a kid and a lot of his inspiration for his book ‘À la recherche du temps perdu’ came from here. The hotel even named their madeleines (those godlike little cakes) after him because one of the most important scenes of the book includes them. Now I have to admit, I never made it to that scene because Proust is such a detailed writer (I believe it took him thirty pages to write about someone waking up) that I admittedly quit while I was ahead, but still. The anecdote is a good one.

Anyways, back to the hotel. The food was divine as was the Calvados which we drank afterwords. I have a hunch it contained some kind of sleeping pill-like substance because I spent the next ten hours in a coma. It usually takes me two days to get this amount of sleep in. I even slept for so long that I almost missed my spa appointment. This was on the fourth floor, complete with a hammam, sauna and beauty salon. The candles were lit, matching music and I was even allowed to pick out which oil they would use.

”She started working on my back. “Vous êtes bien tendue”, she said”

I was enjoying every minute of it and then I was ready for my hour long massage. The masseuse said some kind words and I answered in  the most accurate French as I could. She started working on my back. “Vous êtes bien tendue”, she said. I had absolutely no idea what it meant, but I figured it was a compliment, and so I thanked her.

But I couldn’t help but be curious. ‘Bien tendue’. What did she mean? That I was very toned? At my age? Or that I was well conserved? Also for my age? Something like that? Since compliments are always a nice pat on the back, I decided to text my Parisienne friend Agnès. Dear Angie, if someone says you’re ‘bien tendue’ during a massage, what does it mean? Message back. ‘That you’re really tense. How about you take it a little slow, dear.’