HOW TO CONQUER

YOUR BOY’S CLOSET

Every weekend I say goodbye to the city I live in to crash at my boy’s place out in the suburbs. We don’t live together yet, so our weekends together are our relationships holy grail. I head over on Friday with a shit load of  my clothes, because hey, you never know what you’re going to need to wear.

As soon as I set foot in his place, I head straight to his closet to hang up all my things. One slight problem though: lack of storage. I can hardly find any space to hang my things. It’s not that he has a lot of clothes, but in some mysterious way my guy knows how to take over the ENTIRE closet. When I ask one of my good friends (who has a massive walk in closet) how she deals with this at home, she blatantly says: “It’s exhausting. His huge woolen jumpers take up three quarters of the room!”. Guys, this does NOT make us happy. Here’s why men are closet hoarders:

men won’t throw anything out unless you do it

Once a year Sander and I pace around in front of his closet and I say: “No way. Those beige unfitted pants have GOT to go. And FYI, you’ll never wear those again.” To which he says (appalled, of course): “No they’re fine. No way am I going to throw those out” And that’s how those pants manage to stay in the closet for yet another year, unworn. Sigh.

a male wardrobe just happens to need a lot of room

Extremely thin items of clothing that hardly take up any room? Forget about it. Apparently that’s only a female thing. Guys seem to wear things that are big and robust. Big jackets, thick jumpers and jeans that are impossible to fold. Sigh.

guys suck at folding

Sorting closet space is like a game of Tetris: you need a bit of tactical insight of you want everything to fit and end up with free space. Throwing your worn sweater back into your closet won’t work babe. Sigh.

time to cut the crap. How are you going to solve it?

A real daredevil will just have the balls and throw out that atrocious beige pair of pants, but if you’re worried about confrontation about that missing piece of clothing, just take it out of the closet and store it somewhere else. In a bag or something, or his attic. I bet you, he won’t even miss it. And if he hasn’t noticed it a year later, throw that monster out. Another tip would be to expand your territory. For example: if the top three shelves are his and the bottom three are yours, take the time to properly fold his clothes that it’ll only take up two shelves. He won’t notice, I promise. And last but not least, the shirts he hardly wears don’t need their own hangers. Pretty sure he should be on board with this rule. Plus, he could probably fit more than one piece on one hanger leaving you with extra space for your cargo. Good luck!

Written by Kiki Düren