Happy & Healthy

IS THERE A LIFE AFTER LIKES?

I could easily avoid this topic, but I might as well just bare the problem that’s at hand. I am addicted to my phone. More specifically: the likes. The likes that I get for the posts that I write, but also the likes for the things I put on Facebook and on the Gram. Give me a like and I’m happy, give me ten likes and I’ll pat myself on the back, give me one hundred likes and I’m over the moon.

There. I admit to it. Weight has been lifted off my shoulder. A part of the problem was that you have to recognize the problem is what I always learned and as you can see: I am admitting to having a problem. To show you that I’m not overreacting, that this isn’t just some measly obstacle in my life, I’ll sketch out a couple of daily situations for you.

Situation 1: Awakening

The first thing I do in the morning, as in the very very first thing, instead of giving my guy or kids a kiss, is grab my phone and see what’s been happening on Facebook and if I got any new likes on things I uploaded or wrote. Before even heading out the door I’ve been on my social media like tour fifteen (!) times already. In the bathroom, during breakfast, while I’m getting dressed. You name it, I’m on social. And you know: when I drop my kids off at their day care and I head on off to work, I’ll check it another fifteen times.

Situation 2: Camping

I happen to have a camper with the most awful wifi connection you can imagine. Well, you would think this would be the ultimate moment to take a breather from the online world, but my addiction is so severe that I try to get online at least thirty times in a day. Even if it doesn’t work the first twenty nine times, I still figure it’s worth trying a thirtieth. And anytime I am able to spot a like or a comment, it feels as though I’ve just received a gift. Some kind of expensive piece of jewelry. I kid you not.

Situation 3: While I’m on the go

Any time I’m in a tram, the bus, the subway, or the train, I try not to go onto Facebook, because I think it looks pathetic when everyone is staring down at their phones. Things like: my god, what a pathetic group of people, crosses my mind, it really shouldn’t be that hard to put away your phone. But then two minutes later, what do I find myself doing? I look for my phone. And when it takes me more than a couple seconds to find it, my heart sinks to the floor. Know the feeling? You start fondling yourself like a maniac trying to find the damn thing. And then when you find it, it feels as though you’ve just found a hundred dollar bill on the floor.

Situation 4: When you’re having a shit day

When I’ve had a shit day in real life, but I scored a lot of likes on a post I wrote, then my shitty feeling is gone for a little while. Then I’ll feel totally in control with my life again and like I’m up to go and do something big. I have no idea what, all I know is that it’s something big.

But let’s get real here: the last couple of weeks I can’t help but feel awful by my addiction. All because I realize that nothing comes from it (although it’s nice to know people like reading my work). I’ve tried a ton of tricks to help me stop being so hooked onto my phone and anything social media, but I can’t kick the habit. I’m seriously wondering if I ever will. Or have the likes become my new life? Our new life? Is there a life after likes?

To be continued.