Fun & Famous

NEW AT THE OFFICE?

6 things that are bound to happen

I used to work in TV and that meant you would be hired per production so you would feel like the office newbie quite often, resulting in being the victim of office pranks a little too often as well. I clearly remember introducing myself to the big boss at a production office. He was in some sort of a meeting so I made a U-turn and decided I would head back as soon as he had a free moment until his secretary grabbed me by the arm. She told me this would be the perfect time to say hi seeing as it was his birthday.

So off I went, into his office. I introduced myself and congratulated him. When I greeted him with a very uncomfortable three kisses on the cheek and mumbled the words ‘congratulations’ he said: “With what exactly? That you’re coming to work here?” Apparently his birthday had been six months ago and I had been the victim of a joke played on me by his secretary.

The likelihood of this exact situation happening to you are slim to none, but here are some things that are bound to happen if you’ve got your first day at a new job on Monday.

1. Coffee fail

You want to show people your good side (you were the first one at the office too) and get coffee for everyone but as soon as you get to the office kitchen, you realize you have no idea where everything is so you end up asking people for help anyway and realize that instead of being a valuable asset, you’re giving them extra work to do instead of taking over some of their work.

2. Remembering names is quite the struggle

Everyone introduces themselves and you shake their hand to forget their name only a mere few seconds later. When someone later asks you if you could give ‘Sarah’ something, you have no idea who Sarah is and you’re too scared to ask if Sarah is the girl you just spent an hour bonding with and it’s going to be very counterproductive if you don’t remember what her name is.

3.  You sense that people don’t remember your name either

Something that might even be more uncomfortable than the latter; you realize someone wants to call out your name but they don’t remember it and you hear them asking another colleague and you see that that other colleague is clueless as well…

4. The collective birthday card

A member of your team just turned a year older and the collective  birthday card has been thrown over your way too. You have no idea who you’re writing to, let alone what you need to write and how much money you should put in the envelop. You haven’t even received your first paycheck yet so you would rather not give any and you hardly know the colleague, but you don’t want to come off greedy, soooo…

5. Going to the toilet

First of all, you’re too scared to even ask where the toilet is. Let alone have your colleagues know you need to pee. Or poop. Once you’ve finally figured out on your own where the toilet is (and by that time you can hardly control your bladder), you and your female boss both head into the bathroom at the same time and some sort of anxiety kicks in and you decide to go back later.

6. Cue in: laughter

You obviously want to be the coolest colleague ever. So you laugh. At every joke. Or anything that comes somewhat close to a joke. But the noise coming out of you is very questionable to be honest…

But don’t worry, find comfort in this: it’s just one day. And before you know it there will be a different newbie and everyone will forget all about your awkwardness.