Sexy Friday

it’s a thing: vajayjay tattoo’s

I came across a rather dubious new trend that I have to share with your guys. Lately, it’s as if a lot of people are having ‘something’ done down under. Because well, they want to spice it up. They don’t want it to be too dull. Your cooch has to stay clean, cool and up to date.

And that’s why ‘vajazzling’ was introduced, you know, pimping up your vajay with different forms of shimmer and shine. There are plenty of kits for you to order online. Then came ‘vajacial’s’ (a facial for your pubic area), but now! Enter the newest trend: vattooing.

I’ve spotted numerous tattooed private parts on the internet. Apparently it’s a thing, people. Really. Pubic hair is so passé. An average woman shaves it bare, but spruces it up with a tattoo. Want to know what kind of vagina tattoos you might spot on Instagram? I’ve seen chicks with diamonds down under, bees, crowns, tribals, insects and I just spotted a goat. A GOAT.

“Sir, I want a goat. Yes, there. Yes, I’m sure. Yes, I’m sober, why?”

I’m trying to picture the situation in front of me. Heading to a tattoo parlor, pulling down my pants and saying: “Sir, I want a goat. Yes, there. Yes, I’m sure. Yes, I’m sober, why?” To then show up at home and have your boy have a stroke when you show it to him. SURPRISE! Kind regards from me and the goat. Hilarious.

I don’t want you to think I’m against decorating your body because I’m not, but getting something permanently inked around your crotch area doesn’t sound like a sexy idea. Is it okay if I let myself and my vagina grow old naturally without any goats, needles, diamonds and other accessories? Thank you.