Happy & Healthy
ANOTHER QUESTION YOU NEED TO STOP ASKING
“You’re not married?” “Never have been either?” “Never been asked?” I get either one of these at least once a day. The answers are no, no and yet another no.
My love and I (who I always refer to as my ‘man’ cause it’s easier -although man still doesn’t mean hubby) have been together for fifteen years, we’ve got three daughters and a home and for some reason this makes people automatically assume that you’re married. Better yet, they’ve even shocked when you tell them you’re not. And then comes the overload.
They ask me why we aren’t. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is pretty much the same as asking someone why they don’t have kids. Perhaps there’s some sort of accumulation of frustration and indignation about the fact that he has never gone on one knee. And for some reason it all comes out when all you were looking for was some undistorted smalltalk.
Something I find equally uncomfortable is when people ask me why not (why not, WHY not) and then I have to tell them that it’s just not my cup of tea. The bouquet, the corsages, the officials with their dime in a dozen speech about your unique love, the photographer yelling: ‘Friend of the bride first’ and ‘Now just the women’; you know what, not all of it is uncomfortable but I do find it to be a little too much. Besides, I know myself well enough to know that on the day of, I’ll end up spending more than a years salary. Do you know how many Chanel bags that is? The lady who lives across from me got married two months ago and at the end of her big day she had to swipe her card for all those dozens of gin-tonics. That’s almost ten thousand euros. For alcohol.
And then I haven’t even covered the dress, the ring, the photographer and the invites, because while you’re at it, you want to do it the right way and I have yet to find the minimalist within myself.
We crossed off the potential option of a marriage when we decided to live in Rome for half a year, which was also an ode to our love and lead me to being able to speak Italian.
But there real wedding jehova’s won’t settle for this and continue spewing out questions. Which leads to me saying insensitive things, because the interviewee is obviously Team Wedding and has already ticked off everything I just insulted. And I didn’t ask for it to happen. Hence the reason I find the topic of marriage even more complicated.
How about we make an agreement to quit asking each other? And incase I do ever end up walking down the aisle, we’ll let each other know? Great.
