Fun & Famous

THE HARD KNOCK LIFE OF PARK AVENUE MOMS IN 6 STEPS

You can spot them in almost every city: glamour mommies. If I use Amsterdam as an example, kids are always being transported around in the newest Bugaboo’s (take the one from Diesel as an example, very en vogue at the moment) or a black Joolz, and together with their moms with a perfect head of blow-dried hair who are already incredibly toned after just giving birth, they stroll around the city streets. They’ll stop by a street corner juicery and then grab another babyccino (that’s a cappuccino but without the coffee) before they head home.

Sounds luxurious, but this is nothing compared to the mothers of Park Avenue, also known as the richest mothers in the world. After having read Primates of Park Avenue, I’m here to share the 6 most striking features. Then you’ll no longer be embarrassed when you buy your kid a ridiculously over priced beverage.

1. Finding an apartment is a full-time job

You start off doing what seems like some type of an audition for the broker because it needs to be evident that you’r really looking for a place and not just apartment-hoping for fun. All they really want to know is one thing: how much have you got.

Then it’s your goal to win over your broker since he or she has hundreds of other important/richer/cooler clients so why the heck would they want to put so much effort into you? The magical word is an intermediate, someone who works as the contact person between you and your two (!) brokers.

2. Labels are vital

Because everyone pretty much only wants to know whether you really can afford that ridiculously overpriced apartment, you have to exude the rich look. So you wear the most expensive labels like Brunello Cucinelli and Loro Piano. Stunning evidently, but don’t ne shocked when a simple sweater comes with a three hundred dollar price tag.

3. Unless your are Really Rich

Are you filthy rich or so famous that every one knows your name? Then you’ll go for the underdressed look. This shows people how elite you are and you don’t have to take part in their Chanel battle. Baggy jeans with sneakers underneath is the look you’re going to go for. Ah, how simple life can be.

4. There really are just two types of bags

Keep that understated Jérôme Dreyfuss bag of yours for your trips to downtown New York. This Park Avenue women won’t understand it. Only two bags apply here: a Chanel or a Hermès. One thing is for sure: it has to exude wealth.

5. The hair

New York women always have their hair done. And their nails. An appointment with your broker is not-done when you’ve got messy hair. So go to a blow-dry bar and if you don’t have time for that, keep brushing it until it starts to shine and put it up in a super chic and slick ponytail.

6. Don’t forget the doorman

Picture this: you’ve just found your perfect Park Avenue apartment for, let’s say, four million or so. It’s close to the perfect school for your kids in a serene oasis in the world’s busiest city. You’ve think you’ve finally got everything taken care of but then there is your doorman. And although he might never say anything or ask you anything, he does expect a 1500 dollar Christmas bonus. If you don’t, odds are that Net-a-Porter package of yours might suddenly disappear into thin air.