Fun & Famous
THESE HASHTAGS ARE SO PASSÉ
Since I’m always looking for visual distractions on Instagram – my first social media account ever; Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Snapchat are dead to me, so you can rightfully call me a newbie – there are a ton of things that have caught my eye, including the excessive use of so called modesty and identity confusion. Entertaining, yes, but annoying as hell. Can it stop please?
#blessed
Look, anyone who profitably shoots the dice, has a successful operation getting rid of their eleventh toe or buys a house after saving up for years is obviously very #blessed, but that hashtag hardly ever finds its way to photos of the latter mentioned events – if the photos would make furore anyway; I’ve never seen a pic of someone holding his thumbs up after his or her eleventh toe was removed, just to name an example. No, people use this hashtag for the most absurd shit #blessed: making avocado toast, a fruitful #morningrun or a pretty view. Yehesss, out here in the west we’re all so f*cking blessed, but the more people start counting and sharing their millions of blessing, the more they get milked and they become less worthy. A tad over the top.
The praise the lord hand emoji
Another one in the category ‘stop over doing it’: the emoji that’s got the two hands folded together that are used for any regram or compliment. Since when is it a custom to be humble and put your hands together in prayer form when someone tells you you’ve got nice pants on? You don’t, do you? The joke of the emoji is that it’s used by people that you know in real life really aren’t that modest. All it actually really means is: ‘I’m just going to kiss your ass because who knows, maybe someday you’ll come in handy.’
”Yes, yes, they say it’s a way of getting more likes and followers but you won’t be winning any brownie points doing this”
Hashtag overdose
Hahaha, I’m a social media dummie, but even I know the absurd stupidity of hashtags, as in #a #hashtag #for #every #word #even #though #I #haven’t #been #productive #all #day. Then give it a go and click on one of the hashtags and then you’ll be bombarded with more idiots that area #also hashtag obsessed. Yes, yes, they say it’s a way of getting more likes and followers but you won’t be winning any brownie points doing this.
I am my child
You think you’re following a friend of yours on Instagram, but some sort of doubt arises when you see her status photo: sun Jeffrey or daughter Sophie with crazy classes. It’s cute you know, all that offspring, but it won’t be giving you a charming amount of photos: Jeffrey with his face covered in chocolate from his pancakes #nomnomnom, Sophie on a swing – look at how brave she is. And that friend of yours? On Instagram she’s a mom, then she won’t post for a while, en then… oh no, back to playing momma. Sigh.
Written by Kalinka Hählen
