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Tessa Heinhuis

Narcissism is a tricky personality disorder: some people have it in a more intense form, others in a milder one. These individuals are full of themselves and always believe the blame lies with someone else. So what’s the best thing you can say to a narcissist? Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a constant need for admiration and validation. Interacting with a narcissist can be challenging, but there are strategies that can help reduce conflict and promote healthier relationships. One of the most powerful tools in dealing with narcissism is empathy, along with setting clear boundaries. And this is the best thing to say: “I understand you.” Acknowledge their feelings—but not their behavior. When communicating with a narcissist, it’s important to show empathy for their emotions, even if you disagree with what they’re doing. Try to understand and validate their feelings, but be clear that certain actions are not acceptable. You might say something like, “I understand that you’re frustrated, but I don’t feel comfortable with how you’re treating me.” This way, you show that you understand where they’re coming from, but still make it clear that their behavior crosses a line. Don’t expect rainbows and cupcakes right away. Change takes time, and it may be a while before a narcissist is willing to adjust their behavior. But showing that you’re willing to meet them halfway—that you understand, that you get them, and that you can imagine how they think—is the first step toward building a better dynamic. It makes them feel heard and seen, and above all else, a narcissist wants to feel important. They always want to be right. If you acknowledge their emotions while not condoning their behavior, they may actually be able to work with that. It helps them separate their feelings from their actions. By showing empathy, setting clear boundaries, and taking care of yourself, you can deal with narcissism more effectively and build healthier relationships—whether it’s with family, friends, colleagues, or romantic partners. It’s important to remember that your well-being should always come first, and that it’s okay to distance yourself from situations that are harmful to your mental and emotional health. And if you offer just a little understanding, you’ll often get something back in return. It’s at least worth a try.
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Narcissism almost feels like a buzzword these days—like everyone suddenly has a touch of it. But it’s also a good thing that this personality disorder is receiving more attention. Narcissists can be highly manipulative, especially in romantic relationships. And there is one thing narcissists never dare to say. Or well—they might just barely be able to, but they rarely actually do. One of the key traits of narcissism is a lack of genuine self-reflection and empathy for others, which often shows up in their communication. They talk a lot about themselves and far less about what’s going on in your life—because, frankly, they just don’t care. As long as you give them attention and keep them in the spotlight, they’re content. What don’t they say easily? “I’m sorry.” Narcissists often struggle to take responsibility for their actions. They tend to avoid offering apologies or owning up to the harm they’ve caused. This can stem from a deep-rooted sense of superiority or simply an inability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. They don’t believe they’re wrong—so they see no reason to ever say sorry. A clear red flag. If someone never says this to you, your alarm bells should start ringing.
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Can your zodiac sign indicate a tendency toward narcissism? There’s definitely something to be said for it—some personality traits just naturally align with a Cancer or an Aries, and not so much with a Virgo or a Libra. So, which zodiac signs are most commonly associated with narcissism? Here are the top four zodiac signs often linked to narcissistic traits: Leo (July 23 – August 22) Leos are known for their confidence and their desire to be the center of attention. They have strong personalities and love to be admired. These traits can easily shift into narcissism if not balanced with empathy and self-awareness. Leos often feel the need to be the best and can struggle with handling criticism. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Aries individuals are passionate, assertive, and unafraid to speak their minds. They are strong-willed and driven to reach their goals—qualities that can be admirable. However, this determination can sometimes become egocentrism and a lack of concern for others’ feelings. Aries can be impulsive and competitive, contributing to narcissistic tendencies. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Libras strive for harmony and beauty in their lives, but they can also be vain and self-centered. They have a strong need for approval and may place themselves at the center of their relationships. While Libras are often charming and social, they can become manipulative in order to achieve their own goals and gain attention. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Scorpios have intense and magnetic personalities. They’re determined and unafraid to go after what they want. Their strong will and passion can sometimes turn into obsessive behavior and a sense of superiority. Scorpios can be secretive and controlling, which adds to narcissistic tendencies. Well, now you know. But don’t worry—not all Libras are narcissists. Thankfully, it’s not that bad. And as long as you’re aware of it, that’s already half the battle—because then you can keep an eye on your behavior.
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Narcissism comes in many types, forms, and degrees—let’s make that clear. Not everyone is extremely selfish, for example: you can be quite social, but sometimes put a little more emphasis on your own happiness. According to experts, there are 7 types of narcissists. And it’s a good idea to recognize them all: there’s a high chance you have someone in your life who falls into one of these categories. The Narcissistic Winner: These people see everything as a competition and strive to be the best at everything, even in situations that aren’t a contest. Others’ success is viewed as a personal defeat. The Narcissistic Victim: This type manipulates situations to appear as the victim and rarely takes responsibility for their own actions. They see themselves as pitiable and expect others to solve their problems, quickly getting offended if this doesn’t happen. They must be the center of attention in any conversation, always talking about the terrible things that have “happened” to them. The “I Know Better” Narcissist: This person is convinced of their own superiority and presents opinions as facts. They give unsolicited advice and cannot handle contradiction. This is how it is, and no, it’s not any other way. They are actually the hardest to have a conversation with. The Narcissistic Puppeteer: This type manipulates others to steer situations in their favor. They exploit others’ weaknesses to achieve their goals—especially at work, this can be very frustrating to deal with. The Narcissistic Opponent: This person sees everyone around them as an enemy and displays angry behavior, like yelling in traffic or being rude to staff. This behavior gives them a sense of control, making them appear tough and strong, but often results in few social relationships. They’re secretly quite lonely and don’t have many close friends. The Status Narcissist: For this person, money, power, and social status are of utmost importance. They have little self-reflection and constantly seek external recognition and prestige. Conversations always revolve around their new job title or their latest car, or where they’re traveling next… as long as it’s about their fabulous possessions and wealth. The Royal Narcissist: This type believes they deserve special treatment without earning it, thinking they are simply worth more than everyone else. They expect rules not to apply to them and react indignantly when corrected. They consider themselves above everyone else. Not exactly the most pleasant bunch, right? Do you recognize flashes of narcissism in your mother, father, friend, or sister? The tricky part is that narcissism is such a common disorder and can appear in so many ways that a person might even display multiple types at once. So it’s possible to recognize several signals in one person. But these seven forms are the most common and worth remembering: don’t let it drive you crazy. It really isn’t always about you.

Image: Netflix

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We’ve probably all met a narcissist in our lives. And narcissists don’t handle criticism very well, do they? There’s one thing you absolutely should not say to a narcissist. And it’s very simple: “It’s not all about you.” A kind of statement that hits wrong with anyone who has narcissistic tendencies. Narcissism is known as a personality disorder in which people see themselves as very important. A touch of selfishness, you could say. They believe they are always right and, indeed, that the world really does revolve around them. They love posting selfies, are always concerned with their appearance and how they come across to others. The funny thing is, they can seem very social at events. They’re charming, funny – they know exactly what others want. But underneath, there’s something you’d rather not encounter: deceit. Because if things don’t go their way, they can walk away in an instant. Your friendship or relationship with a narcissist can end just like that. Especially if you don’t give them what they want and push back: if you say the world doesn’t revolve around them, they quickly grow tired of you. They want to manipulate and be in control. Not be guided by you. "It’s not always about what you want!" is a variation of that phrase they don’t want to hear. They can’t handle it. This sentence goes against their self-centered worldview and can frustrate them, because they cannot tolerate being challenged or losing control of a conversation. Narcissists struggle to face their own mistakes or shortcomings, so statements like this can really upset them. And you know what? That’s actually something to be happy about. Because saying this keeps narcissists nicely at a distance. You go, girl.
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You’d think you’d notice when someone is messing with you, right? But narcissistic manipulation is so refined, so subtle and – let’s be honest – so cruel, that you only realize it when you’re already caught in the trap. And yes, even you, smart, funny, intuitive woman. So, if you’ve ever had a date, partner, or colleague who constantly made you wonder: “Is this me?” then chances are you’ve been dealing with a narcissist. Watch out for these 5 red flags:

1. “You’re too sensitive”

Or, in its modern version: “Wow, you’re really overreacting.” Narcissistic manipulation often starts with gaslighting. They twist the story so cleverly that you end up thinking you’re making a fuss over nothing. The goal? To make you doubt yourself. Your emotions get dismissed as “dramatic” or “hysterical,” while they wash their hands in innocence. Classic.

2. “You’d never make it without me”

Ouch. This isn’t love – this is control. Narcissists want you to believe that they are indispensable. That without them, you’d end up in a cabin in the woods with just your cat (and let’s be honest: the cat would still win). Narcissistic manipulation makes you feel small so they can feel big. The scariest part? It happens so gradually that you don’t notice how far you’ve been dragged into it. Until one day, your eyes open and everything becomes crystal clear.

3. “I never said that”

This is the crown jewel of gaslighting. You know for sure he sent that text. Or that he agreed your sister could stay over. But suddenly it’s: “Nope, you made that up.” Or: “You only hear what you want to hear.” Trust me, this is manipulation in its purest form. And the crazy part is… for a while, you actually believe it.

4. “Everyone thinks you’re acting weird”

The moment you hear: “My friends also think that you…” – know this: there’s a 99% chance those friends never said anything of the sort. Narcissistic manipulation often uses ‘imaginary third parties’ to put pressure on you. Because if “everyone” supposedly agrees, then it must be true, right? Wrong. Don’t fall for it. Ask those people directly whether they actually said that. Narcissists count on us being too polite to fact-check. And honestly? Too often, they’re right.

5. “I only did it because I love you”

If someone belittles, undermines, or hurts you and wraps it up as ‘love,’ you’ve got yourself a toxic cocktail. Love is meant to make you stronger, not more dependent. “I only did it because I love you” is narcissistic manipulation dressed up as romance. Don’t be fooled: it’s as poisonous as a bad Cosmopolitan.

Recognize this?

Maybe one of these lines sounds familiar. Maybe all of them do. Maybe you’re reading this thinking: oh wow, so that’s what was going on. The most important thing to remember is this: you’re not crazy. And you’re not alone. Want to know more about narcissism and how to deal with it? Check out this helpful guide from Psychology Magazine for recognition and protection.

✨ Power moves – 5 signs you’re taking your strength back

You can say ‘no’ without feeling guilty Your texting style changes: less explaining, more blocking You literally feel more space in your body Your friends say: “You’re glowing again” You no longer crave their approval

So what now?

Breathe in. Breathe out. You don’t have to fix it all today. Awareness is the first step. Delete those messages. Block that number. Create space for yourself – and for people who lift you up instead of tearing you down. Just don’t say this one thing, because this is the worst thing you can say to a narcissist. Consider yourself warned.
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Furious if the other person gets there just before them. Angry when the other team crosses the finish line first. Some zodiac signs handle losing very badly. And we're not just talking about sports, but about everything in life. Because, yes, you can win and lose in many different areas of life. 1. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Leos have a strong need for recognition and admiration. They like to see themselves as leaders and winners. When they lose, it feels like a personal attack on their pride and self-image. A Leo can act dramatically after a defeat, with strong feelings of disappointment or anger. They will try to justify why they lost and may have a hard time letting it go. 2. Aries (March 21 – April 19) An Aries is naturally competitive and always wants to be first. They see losing as a personal defeat and a setback in their goal to always win. Whether it’s a promotion at work or a game of Monopoly: they are determined. Aries can quickly become angry or frustrated. They can also react impulsively and will often try to win again right away to restore their honor. 3. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) They always want to be the best. Scorpios are intense and have a strong will. They take losses very personally and may find it difficult to accept that they don’t have control. Scorpios can become very grumpy and carry the loss with them for a long time. They will often quietly brood on ways to make up for their loss in the future. Revenge is sweet for them, you could say.
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Furious if the other person gets there just before them. Angry when the other team crosses the finish line first. Some zodiac signs handle losing very badly. And we're not just talking about sports, but about everything in life. Because, yes, you can win and lose in many different areas of life. 1. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Leos have a strong need for recognition and admiration. They like to see themselves as leaders and winners. When they lose, it feels like a personal attack on their pride and self-image. A Leo can act dramatically after a defeat, with strong feelings of disappointment or anger. They will try to justify why they lost and may have a hard time letting it go. 2. Aries (March 21 – April 19) An Aries is naturally competitive and always wants to be first. They see losing as a personal defeat and a setback in their goal to always win. Whether it’s a promotion at work or a game of Monopoly: they are determined. Aries can quickly become angry or frustrated. They can also react impulsively and will often try to win again right away to restore their honor. 3. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) They always want to be the best. Scorpios are intense and have a strong will. They take losses very personally and may find it difficult to accept that they don’t have control. Scorpios can become very grumpy and carry the loss with them for a long time. They will often quietly brood on ways to make up for their loss in the future. Revenge is sweet for them, you could say.
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A bit snarky, easily offended, and oh yes, they love to gossip. They’re also not afraid to do something behind your back for their own benefit. Yes, being mean is something these zodiac signs excel at. It’s not always pleasant, but at least you know where you stand. Of course, they also have their better sides, but these three zodiac signs can definitely be a bit sly: Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Geminis are known for their dual nature. They can be charming and friendly, but also gossipy and unreliable. This volatility can lead to mean behavior, especially when they’re bored or off balance. If you're part of their clique, you're in. You’re good. But if you’re on the outside? Watch out, because they can be pretty harsh. Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Capricorns are ambitious and driven, but these traits can sometimes lead to harsh and ruthless behavior. In their quest for success, they may see others as obstacles and push them aside without much consideration. They’re a bit cold and distant in social relationships and are perfectly fine handling things on their own. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Scorpios are often seen as intense and passionate, but this intensity can sometimes turn into manipulative and vengeful behavior. When they feel threatened or hurt, they can become sharp and mean. It’s definitely not pleasant, let’s just say that... Be careful with what you say because it can quickly be taken the wrong way.
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A bit snarky, easily offended, and oh yes, they love to gossip. They’re also not afraid to do something behind your back for their own benefit. Yes, being mean is something these zodiac signs excel at. It’s not always pleasant, but at least you know where you stand. Of course, they also have their better sides, but these three zodiac signs can definitely be a bit sly: Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Geminis are known for their dual nature. They can be charming and friendly, but also gossipy and unreliable. This volatility can lead to mean behavior, especially when they’re bored or off balance. If you're part of their clique, you're in. You’re good. But if you’re on the outside? Watch out, because they can be pretty harsh. Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Capricorns are ambitious and driven, but these traits can sometimes lead to harsh and ruthless behavior. In their quest for success, they may see others as obstacles and push them aside without much consideration. They’re a bit cold and distant in social relationships and are perfectly fine handling things on their own. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Scorpios are often seen as intense and passionate, but this intensity can sometimes turn into manipulative and vengeful behavior. When they feel threatened or hurt, they can become sharp and mean. It’s definitely not pleasant, let’s just say that... Be careful with what you say because it can quickly be taken the wrong way.
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Does he spend more time in front of the mirror than anyone else in the house? Quickly checking his hair when passing a shop window? Vanity comes in all shapes and sizes. Each zodiac sign has its own unique traits, and that applies to vanity as well. Some men pay a bit more attention to their appearance and presentation, and this is often reflected in their star sign. It's not necessarily a bad thing, though. At least, not always. But if you're running late again because he needs to change outfits six more times... Whew. 1. Leo (July 23 - August 22) Leo is the zodiac sign most associated with vanity, and for good reason. Leo men love attention and enjoy being in the spotlight. Their self-confidence radiates from them, and they do everything they can to look their best. Whether it’s the latest fashion, a perfectly styled haircut, or a striking accessory, the Leo man makes sure he always stands out. This vanity stems from their desire to be admired and respected. They see their appearance as an extension of their personality and want others to see them the way they see themselves: strong, attractive, and full of confidence. 2. Libra (September 23 - October 22) Libra men are naturally focused on aesthetics and balance. They have a refined eye for fashion and style and are often the ones who always show up well-dressed and well-groomed. These men place great value on their appearance, but also on how others perceive them. However, their vanity isn’t solely self-centered. Libra men are also highly aware of the appearance of their surroundings, and they’ll often go the extra mile to ensure that everything around them looks just as good as they do. Their love for beauty and harmony makes them some of the most stylish and polished men of the zodiac. 3. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Taurus men have a strong appreciation for the finer things in life, and that includes their appearance. They love luxury, comfort, and enjoy looking good—not just for others, but especially for themselves. They may not be as flamboyant as Leo or as focused on balance as Libra, but their vanity shows in their love for quality and self-care. Taurus men are happy to invest in high-end clothing, quality grooming products, and a healthy lifestyle to maintain their looks. Their vanity is more subtle, but very much present; they know what they want and are willing to invest in their appearance to reinforce their self-image.
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Does he spend more time in front of the mirror than anyone else in the house? Quickly checking his hair when passing a shop window? Vanity comes in all shapes and sizes. Each zodiac sign has its own unique traits, and that applies to vanity as well. Some men pay a bit more attention to their appearance and presentation, and this is often reflected in their star sign. It's not necessarily a bad thing, though. At least, not always. But if you're running late again because he needs to change outfits six more times... Whew. 1. Leo (July 23 - August 22) Leo is the zodiac sign most associated with vanity, and for good reason. Leo men love attention and enjoy being in the spotlight. Their self-confidence radiates from them, and they do everything they can to look their best. Whether it’s the latest fashion, a perfectly styled haircut, or a striking accessory, the Leo man makes sure he always stands out. This vanity stems from their desire to be admired and respected. They see their appearance as an extension of their personality and want others to see them the way they see themselves: strong, attractive, and full of confidence. 2. Libra (September 23 - October 22) Libra men are naturally focused on aesthetics and balance. They have a refined eye for fashion and style and are often the ones who always show up well-dressed and well-groomed. These men place great value on their appearance, but also on how others perceive them. However, their vanity isn’t solely self-centered. Libra men are also highly aware of the appearance of their surroundings, and they’ll often go the extra mile to ensure that everything around them looks just as good as they do. Their love for beauty and harmony makes them some of the most stylish and polished men of the zodiac. 3. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Taurus men have a strong appreciation for the finer things in life, and that includes their appearance. They love luxury, comfort, and enjoy looking good—not just for others, but especially for themselves. They may not be as flamboyant as Leo or as focused on balance as Libra, but their vanity shows in their love for quality and self-care. Taurus men are happy to invest in high-end clothing, quality grooming products, and a healthy lifestyle to maintain their looks. Their vanity is more subtle, but very much present; they know what they want and are willing to invest in their appearance to reinforce their self-image.
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Virgil, You’re a Man After Our Hearts. What can we say about you? Our captain for this European Championship. And not only a star on the field, as it turns out, but also in your private life: with a stunning wife and two adorable children. What a wealth. And those euros you earn from your top-tier sports career can’t even compare to that. For those dreaming of a one-on-one with our captain: sorry. Virgil is happily married to Rike Nooitgedagt since the summer of 2017. They met at a young age when our Oranje captain was just starting his career at FC Groningen. Now, they have two daughters, Nila and Jadi. Rike Nooitgedagt has a background in the fashion industry and previously worked as a fashion saleswoman. However, she decided to give up her career to support Virgil in his football journey when he moved abroad to play for various clubs. Rike is known for her unwavering support and dedication to her family and is often seen at important football matches of Virgil van Dijk. They make a great team. Virgil once said: "All in all, I’m just an ordinary guy who loves his family, like everyone else. We love relaxing, unwinding, and having fun together." Rike prefers to stay out of the spotlight, which is why little is known about her. And in a way, we find that pretty cool. Come on, Virgil, let’s go for that European Championship final. You’ve got our support. ...
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Virgil, You’re a Man After Our Hearts. What can we say about you? Our captain for this European Championship. And not only a star on the field, as it turns out, but also in your private life: with a stunning wife and two adorable children. What a wealth. And those euros you earn from your top-tier sports career can’t even compare to that. For those dreaming of a one-on-one with our captain: sorry. Virgil is happily married to Rike Nooitgedagt since the summer of 2017. They met at a young age when our Oranje captain was just starting his career at FC Groningen. Now, they have two daughters, Nila and Jadi. Rike Nooitgedagt has a background in the fashion industry and previously worked as a fashion saleswoman. However, she decided to give up her career to support Virgil in his football journey when he moved abroad to play for various clubs. Rike is known for her unwavering support and dedication to her family and is often seen at important football matches of Virgil van Dijk. They make a great team. Virgil once said: "All in all, I’m just an ordinary guy who loves his family, like everyone else. We love relaxing, unwinding, and having fun together." Rike prefers to stay out of the spotlight, which is why little is known about her. And in a way, we find that pretty cool. Come on, Virgil, let’s go for that European Championship final. You’ve got our support. ...
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