Unwittingly, I was clicking and reading on Huffingtonpost.com when I came across an article article discussing 23 trends that men hate. Trend number one is the peplum. Fine, I thought, I don't have that hanging in my closet. Then number 2, the beanie, you know, those stupid knitted hats that hang uselessly on the back of your head. I can only nod in agreement because I hate the beanie. Sneakers with wedge heels, floppy hats, open-side shirts, bright lipstick, heavy eye makeup, in that order they were mentioned and my self-image rose and rose, because I have just as much dislike for all those trends as the man apparently does.

But then it went wrong...

But then it went wrong. About the strapless bikini, for example, it is said, “ze laten je schouders eruitzien als die van een linebacker.” Hmm, I have about 30 strapless bikinis lying in my closet. But it got worse. Shoes with a pointed toe (why not?!), high-waisted clothing items, harem pants (okay, I get that), ultra-high heels, pantsuits, bangles, oversized sweaters – well, it's a battlefield. In fact, at the time of writing, I am wearing fairly high heels with a pointed toe, a high-waisted mini-short, an oversized sweater (from the men's section mind you) and a row of bangles is standard around my wrist. Shit. So I am not sexy at all. And while I always thought I was doing quite well. You will never catch me in UGGS, maybe only very rarely on the couch, but never outside! Never! A pair of harem pants then, I only wore those when I was traveling and very comfortable with my inner hippie. I almost always wear sky-high heels (didn't we think that was sexy?) and heavy makeup? Come on, I don't even know how to apply an eyeliner line.

So I am confused, just like this niet zo sexy vrijdag. Maybe I should seek my salvation among women and aspire to a career as a lesbian, because this, this is going the wrong way. Anyone have a handsome sister available?