It's not always a pleasure to go out to eat with me. During the meal, I'm usually figuring out the layout of the restaurant, often diving into the kitchen and taking a round through the place, peeking at how the staff behaves or listening in on the explanation of a host at the table next to me. My dining companions probably couldn't care less when I ask what kind of cash register system is being used. Sorry, but I just want to know. And oh, how quickly I can get annoyed. Not always fun for my company. But well, once I'm enthusiastic about a restaurant, it's a party to go out to eat with me.
If you happen to work in the service, I have a few tips for you. If you stick to these, I will definitely come back.

Do's

– Refilling water is allowed. And if I've ordered tap water, always put a new carafe on the table when it's empty. That can be done without asking. Preferably even!

– Advise and tell what you like best. I actually enjoy personal recommendations. Feel free to say: ‘I'll put another bottle of olive oil on the table, I always find it so nice over the sea bass.’

– Ask once in the evening if everything is to your liking (and especially not more often).

– Suggest to fillet the fish or the steak tartare prepare it.

– Always keep guests informed. If you think a dish is going to take a long time because the kitchen is in chaos, just mention that. Then no one minds waiting a bit longer.

– If you've smoked a cigarette during your break, take a mint and wash your hands. (Actually, that's very dirty anyway, so preferably not at all.)

Don'ts

– Please don't squat at the table. I understand it's convenient, especially if you're tall, but I think you get too close to the guests. And it has a somewhat nonchalant vibe.

– I prefer not to be refilled with wine. Just put the (cooler with) the bottle on the table. That way I can keep track of how much I'm drinking myself.

– Don't join in on a conversation I'm having. If I'm discussing with my dining partner what Beyoncé's daughter's name is again, I don't need to hear the answer from the waitress.

– I don't like sales talk. If I want a Sambuca with my coffee, I'll order it myself. So don't suggest it. Also, don't ask if I want another bottle of wine. I find that pushy.

– I can also get annoyed by eating staff. If you're hungry, take one bite of something in the kitchen, but not in plain public. It looks unprofessional.

– A deep neckline might be nice behind the bar in a brown pub, but not in a restaurant. It's distracting, for me too.

– Nothing is worse than having to wave a lot to get the attention of the staff. Especially when you see that the staff is talking to each other.

Next week I will talk about the do's and don'ts when you're a guest in a restaurant. For example, don't sit kissing extensively and yes, you can definitely go to the bathroom between courses. For now, I'll take off my hospitality hat again and enjoy reading the new Vogue.