If I ask my single friends what their main source of dating material is, I think 80% would answer with “Tinder.” Really everyone is on Tinder. Here at the editorial office, there’s also a lot of swiping going on, and since quite a few great stories are being told, it was time to take an Explorer into the phenomenon of Tinder. Because, how do you approach it, how not, and how do you get rid of it in God's name.

You should do this

• Start the conversation yourself. Don’t wait for him to do it, come on, you can definitely do that yourself. Just think about what exactly you’re going to say. Boring questions won’t work, but really bad lines like “hi I pressed your heart” won’t bring you success either (said by one of the editors here and no, I won’t say who).
•  Immediately a thorough analysis on Facebook. Who is he? What does he do? Why does he do that? Where does he live? You need to know everything.
•  Not looking for long-term love but for love for one night? Get to the point right away, no fuss. “What are you doing tonight at 8:00? Wine at my place?” Don’t beat around the bush, no one benefits from that.

You should not do this

•  Men, listen carefully: TAKING SELFIES IS NOT OKAY. For women, it’s already debatable but for men, it really isn’t. And especially not in the mirror. Stop it now.
• Women, life can sometimes be tough, but don’t hang your entire life story on your match. It’s not fun for anyone.
• Make sure your profile picture is one of you, and not of you and your 34 best girlfriends (you should never say ‘girlfriends’ anyway). Are you not pretty enough to take a photo alone? Are you the type that is always flanked by a legion of friends? Those are the questions that The Man will ask and you don’t want that. So, go solo in the photo. Filters were invented for a reason.
•  Putting ridiculous texts in your Tagline. I saw someone who wrote “court supplier of the national shine.” Sigh. Or someone who is a “passionate semi-professional windsurfing beach house transporter.” What?! And then there are the profound texts like “you can’t cycle on a simple road.” People, I’m not making this up.

And then this

I’m not very active on Tinder myself, but the app is on my phone, so in the name of science, I opened it again and went on a quest.

“After the hi-how-are-you mess came the question of what my hobbies are (seriously) and when I ask him what he’s going to do today, the answer is “definitely chatting with you”

Under slightly hysterical guidance from Jet and Josselin, I handed out some likes and suddenly I had a match with Pascal. The reason I liked him was mainly due to his bio: “I’m Pascal. I’m 30 years old. Working in the meat processing sector… And if you want to know more, just ask.” Again, I’m not making this up. Pascal is from Hoorn and in one of his photos, he’s wearing a pink shirt with a Burberry check on the collar. Match made in heaven! After the hi-how-are-you mess came the question of what my hobbies are (seriously) and when I ask him what he’s going to do today, the answer is “definitely chatting with you.” YouUUUUUUUU. Bleeding eyes.

His hobbies are “going out. Hanging out with friends. Dining out. Watching movies…. Music. Dutch. Turkish. Spanish music…. You name it…” When I ask him what his job entails, I get ‘the sterilization of meat products at 114’c and the pasteurization process.” I pretend that I’m “assistant to the administrative employee at a medium-sized company” and he seems to find that “very interesting! Nice one.” You understand, this isn’t going to work and with the shock still in my legs, I swipe away Tinder again. It was nice while it lasted and I hope you have more success. Ladies (and gentlemen), go for it!