INSTASEXY

Guys pay attention, after the phenomenon of fashion bloggers, a new way has emerged to gain internet fame, which in turn leads to real fame: Instagram. Insta (as Jet always calls it, she abbreviates everything. Even words like ‘studio’, which becomes ‘stu.’ But that's beside the point) is the ideal place for horrifically beautiful and heartbreakingly slim blondes who proudly showcase their 2-meter long-legged mosquito legs and gain hundreds of thousands of followers with it. For example, there is Renee Somerfield (432,016 followers), very blonde, very tall, and above all, very very slim. She is a ‘free spirit’, vegan (duh) and does something with modeling. But the bikini brands are lining up to give her her own line, which will be coming soon. Ellie Gonsalves (299,448 followers) has a similar CV, pretty blonde and a lot of perfection. Or what do we think of Jen Selter, just under 20 years old and good for almost 2 million (!) followers, including Rihanna. Jen has a butt like a trampoline that you can jump to Narnia with, and her account mainly contains pictures and videos of how she grows and trains that butt. Scrolling through the photos of all these fit little deer, my acceptance of my own body and limbs decreases by the minute. Fortunately, my motivation to finally go to the gym rises proportionally, and I will soon start boxing with Jet. Twice a week private lessons, at 07:30, by Badr Hari's old trainer. Just wait and see how sexy the Insta accounts of Jet and me are going to be. Be afraid, be very afraid...