different types of travelers (and how to deal with them)

Last year, I spent quite a few hours on the plane and also flew back and forth to London. By now, we have already told you how to stylishly exit the plane and how to spend time at the airport, but once you are on the plane, there is always the danger of the annoying smelly neighbor or neighbor woman. Or hysterical groups of women, they can be quite bad too. I observed and distinguished the following types of people, so the next time you are on a plane and bored, you can play a little bingo. Here we go.

The businessman
Especially on flights to London, you see many businessmen. Dressed sharply in a suit, small briefcase, hair slicked back, you won't hear me complain. I actually like having the businessman next to me because let's face it, there are still few things more enjoyable than a man in a suit. You, as a lovely cheerful woman, are surely a welcome distraction from all his boring business meetings, so a little glance and nod can be enough for a conversation. Ask where he is going, if he does this often, etc. If he is the type who immediately opens his laptop and starts typing furiously in Excel – just leave him be, he is busy.

The baby
The most hated passenger on the plane because babies don't understand a thing about what is happening and their solution is to scream unbearably loud. You have to think of it this way, the crying often comes from ear pain and actually, it's all quite sad. Haha, listen to me (I'm not exactly a child lover) but really, even I talk myself into understanding it. Even worse than babies are perhaps toddlers and preschoolers who find walking fun and thus race down the entire aisle, making it extremely annoying for you. The solution: stick out your leg. Ha, just kidding (sort of), but if it really gets too annoying, you can always ask the parents if they can keep their offspring in check, thank you kindly.

The bachelorette party
Large groups of rowdy men and giggling women who are going to celebrate their best friend's upcoming wedding in another city. Especially with men, you have to be careful, they know no boundaries and feel all-powerful. Deadly glares can help, but I have literally sat in the middle of such a group and after a dozen sexist remarks, I got so fed up that I asked for another seat. Thank goodness that was possible, if you have a flight without empty seats, just pop in your earplugs, put on a sleep mask, and pretend you're crazy.

The lovebirds
Ugh, such a clingy, overly in-love couple that can't keep their hands off each other and feels the need to kiss each other ALL the time. It's their first vacation together and they hardly know what to do with their excitement – and you're sitting next to them. Again, sleep mask on. Or, in the spirit of passively aggressively waging war, put on a bloody horror movie that instantly takes away all their lust. That will teach them.

The first timers
Someone, age undetermined, who is flying for the first time. This person can find everything very scary or just overly fun. In the first case: give him or her a bag to breathe into and say things like “flying is the safest mode of transport.” Or something like that. Just stay very relaxed yourself, don't start saying things like “hey, do I see a screw loose?” because that won't make it any better.

The talker
I don't know which I find worse, a baby or a talker next to me. The talker cannot stop talking. Often these are women, but middle-aged men can also be quite chatty. Everything gets told, children, in-laws, grandchildren, neighbors, friends, EVERYTHING and it is totally maddening.

The backpacker
If you're lucky, it's a nice backpacker who keeps to themselves or has all sorts of fun exciting stories to tell. If you're unlucky, it's a backpacker who hasn't seen a shower in four months and is so comfortable with his or her inner hippie that the accompanying harem pants are still full of stains from three countries ago. Usually, backpackers are fairly self-contained, so you don't have to worry too much. Just that smell, well, unfortunately, there's not much you can do about that.