13 THINGS

that mothers-in-law should not do at Christmas

We love that tree and Michael Bublé's Christmas songs, but we have all been dreading the actual Christmas days for weeks, what am I saying, months. We can manage that one day at our parents' house. At least we can flop down and doze off there, but that day at our in-laws... How on earth can we get out of that? It would already help immensely if our mothers-in-law would at least not do this.

Claiming Christmas Day

It's not even July yet and mother-in-law is already claiming Christmas Day. In her eyes, that's the most important day and of course, you have to celebrate it with her. Saying that your parents have already reserved that day is unbelievable because it's only June after all. Grrr...

Talking about your partner's ex

And there she is again; the ex. Or at least; an anecdote about the ex. How many years do you have to be together before her name is no longer mentioned? Negative stories are still bearable, but you know, just don't do it. Just don't.

Playing old games (that you don't care for)

I have friends with a Frisian partner whose mothers-in-law love to play Old Frisian games. And they also speak in Frisian, which she doesn't understand at all. My cousin is married to a Brabander whose family always plays some game that tests your knowledge of Brabant. She comes from Amersfoort, so you know who always comes in last. And with a grumpy face sitting...

Correcting your children in your house

“Clean that up!” “You can clear the table.” “Well, that's a bit disappointing.” The last one was about not coloring neatly within the lines. Aside from the fact that you set the rules in your house and it's very unkind to suddenly impose different rules on your child, she is of course implying that you are raising your children very poorly. Excuse me, did I say ‘your children’? I mean of course: her grandchildren.

Asking: “What are you looking for?”

When you take a look in your kitchen cupboard. Shut your mouth. I'm looking in my own kitchen cupboard because I feel like it. As if by saying it, she would know where it is.

Serving filter coffee

We are past that stage. And if she has apparently managed to bake such a nice son, she can now also buy a Nespresso machine.

Serving deviled eggs

Some dishes just can't be done anymore. Like: deviled eggs, slices of salami with a sour pickle, a pastry (this still happens, I know it from a pretty reliable source), chunks of cheese with a segment of canned mandarin, Viennetta ice cream cake. Although we secretly find the last one quite tasty, it just can't be done anymore.

Not accepting if you skip a bite

Sorry, but eight courses and a cream cake, two chocolates, three deviled eggs, and that freaking pastry is just too much for us. So if you don't want us to spend the rest of the afternoon hovering over the toilet, don't push too hard.

Pretending she knows him better than you

Of course, mothers and sons have an extremely strong bond that will never be broken. But by now, you have lived under one roof with him for almost longer than she has, and let's just say that you know your beloved on more levels than she does. And even if mother thinks she knows better, she should just keep that to herself. At least if she wants us to have a good time.

Always that glitter top

There are mothers-in-law who have a glitter top that they find particularly festive for Christmas, and they wear it every year...

Not helping

When Christmas is celebrated at your place. You have been sweating in the kitchen for three hours and only after dessert does she ask if she can help you.

Forgetting the children

Nice those oysters, that fish dish, and that cheese platter, but we also had children, you know? Your grandchildren... They would also like to eat something...

Making you sick

From my anonymous research among friends, it also came up that many mothers-in-law cannot cook. One of them bought deer meat that was on sale. So past the expiration date. So everyone got sick. Another mother-in-law left the meat outside the fridge all day to let it ‘come to room temperature’. The fact that everyone, but really everyone, had food poisoning at night was not her fault. She couldn't believe that.

Merry Christmas...

Image: Pinterest