If your friend has breast cancer

7 sweet things you can do

One of my good friends asked me last year if I wanted to squeeze her breast. And no, it wasn't because she suddenly had bisexual aspirations. The next day she went to the hospital just to be sure. All by herself because it was probably nothing.

I drove that day with my love to Paris where Jetteke and Lieke van Lexmond presented their jewelry collection. The appointment at the hospital was at 14:45, so I texted at 15:20. No response. Maybe she had the appointment at 15:15 and I had made a mistake. So I texted again at 16:00. Still no answer. She must have gone to pick up the kids from school and hadn't had time to call me, I thought.

But at 18:00 I couldn't take it anymore. Write something, I'm going crazy. And then came her response. “It's all wrong May. Completely.”

A year has passed and we are back. She is still here. With new hair, a new breast, and an even bigger heart. When your friend gets such a blow, she has to fight the battle. All alone. But there are things you can do to make her life and suffering a little more bearable.

1.

Start a cooking group

With my friend, neighbors and friends immediately joined forces and made a cooking schedule. The reason I wasn't invited to this group was mainly because of my sick friend thinking of my busy job and overflowing household. Luckily. I feared that my cooking skills wouldn't be fully appreciated. Which could have been fine too. This is immediately a lesson. Help her with the things you are good at or that fit easily into your life.

2.

Create a WhatsApp group

We did that immediately with my friend. If she needed something, she would put it on the app so everyone could respond at once and she didn't have to go to each person individually.

3.

Bring champagne

The day my friend was going to shave her hair off, I brought in the morning a bottle of champagne. As a comfort. She drank it later when she was feeling better. During chemo, you really shouldn't think about alcohol, but it's nice to have something festive waiting for you afterwards.

4.

Be optimistic

The last thing someone with cancer wants is for you to tell stories about the sister of your neighbor and the cousin of your teacher who didn't make it. Focus on the good. Next year we will be back drinking wine on the beach and you will have the most beautiful, new breasts of all of us. Those are the texts that make her happy. Moreover, so many women are now recovering from cancer that you can safely approach it positively.

5.

Buy a nice hospital outfit

In the hospital, your friend also wants to look nice. Buy a nice pajama with a front closure, a very nice rich cream (because chemo dries out your skin a lot) or a nice body lotion. I gave my friend the most beautiful toiletry bag from Chanel with which she felt like the queen of the AVL.

6.

Flowers are always a good idea

What I liked was to buy two bouquets, one for her and one for me so we had the same view and could think of each other. And we also got the same scented candle. Every morning a few minutes therapeutically burning a Diptyque.

7.

Don't forget her husband

When you just gave birth, it is often said that people should also pay attention to the husband. He is also experiencing an intense time. That is of course completely true when your wife is sick. You have the care for your loved one, have to keep the household running, and moreover, your girl won't always be in the best mood with a tickling wig, a mouth full of blisters (that's one of the nice side effects of chemo) and a battered breast. So let your husband take him out for a nice time, give him a nice series or go with the whole family to a football game or to Artis. Your friend can then have a nice sleep.

I hope this will be spared for you, but it is simply a disease that occurs very frequently. And then the least you can do is be there for each other.