Good, where shall I begin. I have a mustache. There, that's out.

I'm going to tell you how it all came to be, and no, it's not a matter of waxing, shaving, or whatever. I seriously still have a mustache.

Not yet any babies

Recently, I was lying in a rather unflattering position on a doctor's bed at my GP's. Legs wide open. Old spiral out, and a new one back in. A different kind than the old one, because I was done with always being on my period (with a copper spiral, that's really liters) and chose a Mirena. This would make it all a lot less and maybe the red flag would even stay away completely. That’s what I like. It did mean that I would go from no hormones to yes hormones. I just trusted that it would work out incredibly positively. No big breasts, mood swings, and that kind of stuff.

But then...

The first few days I thought the world was ending. Seriously gloomy, but I knew exactly what it was about, so I could put it into perspective and most likely it was also a bit in my head. My body just had to get used to hormones. Luckily, I didn't get bigger boobies. What I did get was a very nice dark line above my upper lip. A neat mustache. Not from hairs, but from pigment. Well, that came in handy, just two days before I was going to Italy. My boyfriend said (as he should) that he really didn't see anything, so I just took that for granted. And... it would probably go away.

Even worse

On vacation, getting as tanned as possible is in my top 3 to-do list (the other is lying down and doing nothing). I really apply sunscreen well, but I do have a whole system for reducing the factor and in the last few days I sometimes like to spray a bit of oil on. So I dutifully started with factor 30, not knowing that The Mustache gets worse and worse when you go out in the sun. Even if it's just for an hour, hooray a dark brown stripe appeared. And good luck trying to get rid of that.

I called my mother. Mothers just know everything. I FaceTimed her and opened the conversation with a close-up of The Mustache. “Oeii yes, I feel for you, I had exactly this too. That's the hormones. Get that thing out again and it will be gone.”.

And now?

My goodness, there I was, under an olive tree, the most beautiful view ever, the happiest person ever but with a thick white stripe of factor 50 on my lip. My boyfriend still saw nothing, he said. “Well, a little bit, but really not a big deal.” Yeah right.